A new mommy of two...

On October 8th at 12:26am my little world changed from being mommy of Parker to being mommy of Parker and Beckham. Wow...what a morning that was. So here is my recollection of the past month...

Thursday, October 7th, I decided it was time to blog. I wrote to my precious little Parker, telling him how much I loved him and how he would always be my little boy even though my heart was about to expand to love another little boy. Man, am I glad I did that blog, because little did I know, my water would break that very evening causing me to deliver earlier that I was expecting.

October 7th was such a wonderful day. Blake came home early from the auction, and while Parker was still napping, we had such wonderful quality time, relaxing on the bed talking about life. Once Parker woke up, the 3 of us laid in bed, eating snacks and watching cartoons...it was heaven and I will always be grateful to the Lord for giving me that afternoon with my boys.

At 8:30pm- that night- Parker was asleep, and Blake and I were eating pizza watching a movie and all of the sudden...woosh! My water broke. It wasn't a lot, so I wasn't sure if that's really what happened, so I called the nurse and was advised to pack my bags and get up to the hospital. Wow...I began to panic...however, Blake calmed me down- Twyla came over and spent the night with Parker and Blake and I rushed up to the hospital to welcome our new little Beckham Cole Theiss, 9lbs, 8oz, into the world. After all of that- I knew God had a perfect plan with that surprise and I would not have changed any of it!

So, now I am a mommy of two. Wow, that sounds so weird and so grown up! It has been 3 weeks and as I reflect on the past 3 weeks, I can say that it has been an emotional roller-coaster! Not being able to pick Parker up for 2 weeks and not be able to rough house with him was probably the hardest part. I cried more times when I had to tell Parker that I couldn't hold him or pick him up, and watch the tears in his eyes ask me why. Oh, I hated that.

However, I am recovered physically, and now that Blake is back to work, and my mom is back to work and now I am by myself taking care of these boys- it is SO fulfilling! It is SO fulfilling to be able to play with Parker and pick him up and run around with him. It is SO fulfilling to know that God is helping me with this new life and see how He enables me to somehow make this work! I am utterly exhausted from lack of sleep- however, God has given me energy and excitement every morning to start my new day!

So...even though I have only put 3 weeks under my belt- I know that God is good and God is faithful and I know that He sees the desires of my heart and the desires I have to enjoy raising my boys...and I know that he will enable me to enjoy these years!!! Praise God!!!!

My heart is pounding....

To my sweet Parker:
I sit here typing this to you as I remember when you came into my world. I never knew the love my heart could have until I began to watch you, my own flesh and blood, grow every day. Every stage you entered I could not imagine loving another stage more than that one- and then you would transition and the excitement and love for each new stage grew more and more. You are my precious little angel, and I love you more than you will ever know.

On Monday, God will bring your baby brother into this world. My heart is so excited to see him and to love him, yet so anxious at the thought of you not being my only child. To get to wake up every day and be just your mommy is one of my greatest life thrills- I'm anxious to think of having to share my heart with another child. I hope that you know you are still my precious baby...I love you so much no matter what you do or don't do- I will love you forever even when I can't give you the attention that you are used to.

As tears stream down my face while I write this- please know I cherish you....I cherish every little teeny tiny moment with you...when we take bubble baths and watch cartoons, when we sit and eat breakfast together and talk about nothing, when you turn and hug and kiss me after I brush your teeth, when you run from me while we play hide and seek, when you light up in the morning when I come in to get you...the list goes on and on...I love everyday with you and I am so happy that I get to be your mommy.

Blake- thank you for being the husband and father you are. Thank you for taking a step in faith and allowing me the opportunity to stay home and raise our children. Everyday when you come home from work- I still feel that excited flutter when I hear the garage door open. You come in and make our little world exciting. I love you more than I did 10 years ago when we began dating and I am so appreciative of how involved you are in our child's life. You truly are my partner and my soul mate and I love you very much.

Heavenly Father, thank you for entrusting a little child to me. Thank you for teaching me in an earthly manner more about the love you have for me through the love I have for my child. Thank you that you ALLOW me to enjoy and love these tender moments in my child's life and thank you that no matter how fulfilling motherhood can be- I MUST be fulfilled first in you before my heart can be filled with my love for my children. Thank you, that you have allowed another precious child to grow within me and I trust that you will enable me to love my little Beckham just as much as my sweet Parker....