All he wanted was my attention...

I was trying to type a short email...1.5 minutes on the computer...and Parker was reaching for the key board and trying so desperately to get my attention. All he wanted was my attention. Oh how I will long for that desire when he is older and could care less what I am doing. Oh how I will long for those precious little eyes to gaze at me as if I am his whole world. I would type a few words and look down at him and he would give me the biggest cheesiest grin that would steal my heart- I could see his hope that I would not be able to look away. After the "sent" key was pushed I reached down to my little boy reaching his arms up to me and grabbed him and tossed him on to my pillow-filled bed. He laughed and squealed. I jumped on the bed and bounced towards him....he laughed so hard with eyes filled with joy...all because mommy was playing with him and making his little world exciting. After a good time of playing and bouncing and laughing....I laid on the bed and watched him roll around in my pillows with glee and excitement. My heart was so filled with joy, knowing that I get to make so many more of these moments. The rest of the evening my eyes looked at him so differently. I saw my little baby, who had suddenly began to grow into a little boy, running around the house, pushing his tonka truck and his rocket ship in laps around the island, and I watched how he would take deliberate breaks to stop and look over at me to see if I was watching....when he saw my eyes and the huge smile on my face he would run over to me- "talk" to me and then run back to what he was doing. I realized that at any moment his infatuation with me could lessen. It is so easy at this stage in parenthood to wish away the dependence upon me to independence of me....and I still desire for my little boy to grow into an independent man- however, when I remind myself of the brevity of these special moments and of the special love my little man has for ME- I cherish them....I'll never know when the last moment will pass where "all he wanted was my attention..."

Laughing...so good for the soul!

Tonight- on our way home from Galveston I would periodically gaze in the rear view mirror to see what my little man was doing in his car seat. For the first 45 minutes I would see him staring out the window with his monkey blanket snug in his arms and his eye lids looking as though they could drift off. However, the last rear view mirror check, I saw my sweet sunshine gazing at ME! So because he brings so much joy to my heart- my first reaction was to smile sweetly at him. He immediately smiled back at me....well, needless to say, I was glad there weren't a lot of people driving on those back roads, because I was HOOKED! I would look away and then JERK my eyes back to look at him...he laughed so hard he got the hick-ups....I in return laughed and laughed....then he would laugh and laugh- we spent the next few minutes just laughing with each other! The thoughts were running through my mind that it was so precious that all I had to do was blink weird and Parker would laugh...to him, I am one of the more funnier people in his world! (Daddy is THE most funny of course). How easy it is to make him laugh and because his laugh is SO contagious I get to laugh...HARD! Once we got home it was time for my love to go to bed so we went in his room and he let me have another rare moment of rocking him. He laid in the crook of my arm and we just stared at each other- dead in the eye. We had a few more moments of laughter and then we were quiet...just being with each other...enjoying each other. Tomorrow, I go get to find out what my baby #2 is going to be...girl, boy, girl, boy??? I am SO excited! However, I can't help but begin to project what life will be like once I am a mom to not just Parker. As I sit here typing those words, tears are welling up in my eyes...I can't just give HIM all of me anymore...how can I possibly love another baby as much as my little Parkerman...what will this life be like? Ugh...it can be such an emotional roller-coaster, but I know that several things are true....1. I serve a sovereign God who decided it was time for me to conceive...2. I love my little man with all of my heart and nothing could change that...3. I will more than likely fall just as much in love with baby #2 as my sweet baby #1 and will love having my heart expand to include my son or daughter!

So, tonight- as I head off to my bed, I will make a point to not get caught up in what is going to happen in 4 months...instead, I will cherish my moments of laughter with my only child.

Laughing....so good for the soul!

In the crook of my arm

In the crook of my arm- he snuggled into my chest as I rocked him and rocked him and rocked him tonight. I could not avert my gaze from his beautiful little face as his eyes grew heavier and heavier each time I rocked him. He was at peace in my arms- my big, dirty, macho little 15 month old who had be screaming and crying just a few minutes before. His little face is burned in my mind...all I could do was lay my cheek against his in between the moments that I would just gaze into my little man's droopy eyes. He's such a gift- he is my little piece of heaven that my heavenly Father gave to me to raise and love. He has completely stolen my heart and no matter what tests that little man put me through during the day- rocking him peacefully to sleep washed all of my days frustrations away. I didn't want to put him down- I didn't want this moment to end. The joy in my heart- the love I have for the child filled my heart to overflowing.

Father- you gave me Parker- you gave me this moment tonight- I loved this moment and I love my little boy. Thank you for him and thank you for the good in my life.

What he's been up to!

Parkerman is now 15 months and is turning into such a HAM! So what has this little guy been doing you ask?? Well..........

He now opens his mouth big and wide with a surprised look on his face about EVERYTHING (which, I must confess....I accidentally taught him that as I do that ALL THE TIME!)


He has learned how to blow on his food- which it doesn't matter if it's right in front of his mouth or on his little tray- he will BLOW, BLOW, BLOW and then demand the food be placed in his mouth.

He is learning to respond to my requests such as:
1. Point at the ceiling fan...
2. Point at the light...
3. Go get in your chair- let's eat
4. Where are your teeth? (He is still rusty on this one)

He holds the phone (or remote, or anything really) up to his ear and says "Ah- ya!" like he is saying hello...he will then blurt out a whole string of "Parker language" for his phone conversation!


He does a "cheesy grin" where he squints his eyes and gives the BIGGEST grin possible.

He loves to give high fives...but mainly to daddy!

And last but certainly NOT LEAST....he has learned to LOVE the swimming pool! For the first 3-4 times we would bring him to the pool he would cry the minute he saw the water fountains and the slides at our pool. However, I was determined to get him over this fear- so I kept bringing him and now he LOVES it! It is SUCH a blast!

Grammy Day in the sun!

Today was such a blast. Every Thursday is "Grammy Day"- where Blake's mom comes to see Parker and spend time with us. Today- we went to see Grammy at her house on Tiki Island. We decided because it was clear, beautiful, 90 degree weather that we should make a trip to the beach. So we loaded the car up, ran and grabbed a burger and then found the perfect spot on the beach.
Well, I realized that I need to take Parker to the beach and the pool a lot more because he was not a fan AT ALL! He hated everything- the sand, the water, the wind....everything! He did have moments where he would accompany me in digging in the dirt and playing- but they weren't long. However, I LOVED it and we are going again next Thursday. I think that Parker needs more sensory variety in his life- I need to give him opportunity after opportunity to experience life outside of our comfortable little shell of house, park, driveway- house, park, driveway.
On our way back from Tiki- Parker was in his car seat in the back and I was driving- I would reach back and tickle him to get those life giving giggles and at one point he caught my hand. I realized how special of a moment this was. I was driving down the road (obviously with my eyes glued to the road) holding my little man's hand....we were holding hands!! My heart was filled with pure joy.
So much of my days at home with my booger bear are just average days, average activities, yet extraordinary moments such as when I am washing dishes while he is running around and he runs up to me- wraps his arms around my legs and hugs me so tight for 3 full seconds and then lets go to run off to another adventure. I MUST love and STOP my world to cherish that hug as I will never know when it is the last time he will run up to me and hug my legs. To get the opportunity to experience life with my baby- to do what he loves and to love what he does- to let him experience life with me to make memories with me, (and of course with daddy too when we are lucky enough to have him home from conquering the world for us) someone who loves him with her whole heart. To teach him words and life lessons- to see him as a dry sponge soaking every word in and ever ACTION in....God- thank you....thank you for my job as a mommy and as a wife to the two most wonderful men in my life.