Tears in my eyes...

Today- I was listening to KSBJ and they had Steven Curtis Chapman on there talking a little about the tragedy they experienced of losing their 5 year old daughter- it was an accident in front of their house that changed their world forever. As I was sitting in my car listening to him I started to put myself in their shoes...I started thinking how devastating it would be to not ever see my baby's smile again or never get to see and FEEL him run up to me and throw his arms around my neck. Tears began to well up when I thought I could never chase him around the house or play peak-a-boo or even have him come up to me crying longing for me to make it better. These types of thoughts flooded my mind to the point where if I didn't stop "empathizing" I would be bawling in my car! It was a huge experience for me- because the past couple of days/weeks off and on Parker has been really testing me, however, his WORST day would be the Chapman's dream if they could have their little girl back. Even though I may get frustrated with my little boy- I-STILL-HAVE-HIM! As my tears are falling down my cheeks I looked back at Parker who had fallen asleep in his car seat...so perfect and so sweet...I just wanted to crawl back there with him and snuggle with him and tell him "Baby boy, even when you are at your worst, I am so grateful I can see and touch you and hold you and love you and kiss you- you are my precious gift from God and no matter what you will always have my heart".