Realization

I had a realization this week while I was up in Ft Worth with the boys waiting for Blake to come.  I will probably be doing life a lot with "just me and the boys".  With Blake working full time and going to school full time, it will be just me, and "breaks" will be few and far between.  I am so grateful to The Lord for bringing me to the point of my calling as a mother.  (I explain that calling in this post http://www.indeeforrest.blogspot.com/2013/07/it-is-my-calling-motherhood.html?m=1)

This week I had a new perspective on the "work" of being a mother...when I started feeling myself say "it would be so much easier to get my house in order if I just had someone to watch the boys", I was able to stop and say "no, they are my mission...though it's more work to have boys running around un-doing all the work I have done :), they are my calling and my calling of training, loving and raising these boys is more important right now."  YES it's exhausting and YES my "to-do" list is not being checked off the way I wanted it to be...but that's my life right now.  I must die to myself in order to serve The Lord in this stage of life.  One day I will get to address my life the way I want to address it, but now, I must rest...rest that MY desires and MY "relaxation quota" will not be met the way I want.