To my boys

Tonight after putting you to bed- I have a heavy heart while hearing all of my imperfections as your mother in my head;  I shouldn't have said this, I shouldn't have handle it that way, I am not loving you the way you deserve, etc etc ect.  I sat down before the Lord- tears in my eyes- repeating Psalm 62:5 "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him".  I waited, in silence, shoulders shaking from the tears rolling down my eyes- and then I heard HIM- my heavenly daddy say "I picked you to be his mother".  That's right- My GOD- hand picked imperfect me specifically to be each of your mommy- and there is a real purpose for who you will be through how I parent you.  His strength will perfect my weaknesses as a mother.  Parker, Beckham, Jett and Denver- I am so sorry for my failures as your mommy- but trust me when I say this- I love you more than life itself and I rely daily on HIS strength to be able to show you just how deep that love is.  I'm soooooo thankful HE chose ME to be your mom.  I love you.