My stinky boys...boring post for most eyes :)

Ok, so I realized I have not done a blog posting updating on the boys and what they are doing, so for the sake of my memories, here goes!  For most eyes, other than grandparents or family....you may want to skip this post :)

Parkerman:

He is almost 5 years old and an absolute JOY to have around.  He is so compassionate and is such an amazing "daddy" to all of his stuffed animals.  He will feed them, make sure they get naps and snuggle with them, not wanting to hurt their feelings.  I absolutely adore that part of my little man.  On the flip side he is exactly that...a little MAN.  He loves to burp and fart and rough house and try and pee on you...he loves to shoot his toy guns and go hunting with daddy.  He loves to run and play soccer, though organized soccer wasn't quite his strong suit this year.  I think he needs to grow up just a little bit and learn that it really is ok for someone on your team to have the ball instead of you.  ;). ---He still LOVES to be with his family, he would rather be no where else.  I work out at the YMCA and my precious boy willingly with a happy heart goes to the childcare area...but makes it very clear he would rather be at home.

-The Lord brought another Christian momma into my life who has kids Parker and Beckhams age, we do preschool homeschool 3 days a week and Parker has finally...at 4.5 gotten interested in school stuff.  I thought it would never happen!  However, the curriculum we use is so amazing and the majority of it is "learn through play" kind of stuff.  The kids also ADORE each other.

-Parker wants to please so badly, and loves affirmation.  Well, he got lucky, because my sprititual gift is encouragement, and I love nothing more than to encourage my babies.

-He is still in speech therapy, but slowly starting to make improvements.  We are still working on the "k" sound and the "f" sound when he talks.
-The other day, Parker came in and told me that he had a dream that "all of these womens were kissing him"...after I died laughing, I told him the only womens who needed to be kissing him was MOMMY!  So the next morning, he came in and told me that he dreamed he married me :). MUCH better!!

-He loves to make people laugh and definitely has learned the art of playing jokes on people.  He loves to play hide and seek, duck duck goose, and LOVES to dress up in super hero outfits.  He also loves to drive his powerwheels, ride his bike and drive remote controlled cars.

-He so desperately wants to have a relationship with God, and wants to go to heaven and see Great Grandpa  when he dies, and on November 24, 2013, I heard him quietly praying in the back seat of the car asking Jesus to save him, after he and I had a long discussion about Jesus and salvation. I loved that so much.  I love teaching him about The Lord, and pouring my passion for Him into my children.  I pray that Parker and Beckham would hunger and thirst for righteousness and would live a life bearing fruit to their faith.

I love my sweet Parkerman more than words could describe and I love not only being his mommy, but also having no friendship with him too.  This is a whole new world.  I love learning to love what he loves and playing with him.  

Beckham:

Oh my little Beckham.  I love this firecracker of a child with my whole heart.  Beckham...how can someone who you love so intensely, push all of your buttons with equal intensity?  Hahaha!  Beckham is either super happy or super crabby!!!!  Ha!  This child has no in between (which apparently his mother has those qualities :)).  Everytime he laughs a lot he gets the hiccups.  He is fully potty trained, even at night time.  

He still has a hard time with speech articulation and is about to start speech therapy with Parker.  I understand him the majority of time, but most people have a hard time.

He still loves his "b-b", which is his blanket.  He is now having "I'm scared of the dark" moments at night, and will find himself sleeping on the floor next to my bed at night.

He still LOVES to snuggle with me...and still loves to be rocked at night.  

He too is a pleaser and always wants people to be happy.  If Parker looks sad, he will give Parker whatever he wants to make him happy.  It's so incredibly sweet.  His favorite answer to every question...no matter what the question is, is "poo-poo".  

I love this child so so much, and love being his mommy...though he can drive me crazy sometime :) :).

This holiday season...

This holiday season has been so different for me...good and bad.  The new feeling of homesick hit me on the way home from our time with family over thanksgiving.  I realized that my heart ached for my "old life" in a way that I haven't experience up here yet.  My heart ached for our family times, for our church home, for our friends and even for our old home...the home that I began doing grown up life in with my little family.  I fully expected this to come at some point, but hadn't experienced it yet since coming up here.  I guess the realization has finally hit that this is it...our life has changed....permanently.  As we were driving back up here from a family visit at the ranch, I told Blake....I feel like we are just gone on vacation and that it's time to drive back to our old house...it's time to go home...yet I can't go home...it's not mine anymore.  It made my heart ache so deeply.  The tears have come and gone, the struggle I think will be here for a while before it subsides.  

So this holiday season we came back and I got all of the decorations out for Christmas.  Well, let's just say I was so pleased with how it all turned out.  I loved it.  So then I immediately began plans for our "normals" during the Christmas season.  Lots and lots of Christmas music, looking at lights every night in our PJs and lots of Christmas movie watching...along with our "adornments" at dinner time where we go through the names of Jesus.  Well, let's just say....Parker learned the meaning of "baa humbug house" really quickly!  Hahaha!  Oh my...these people out here do NOT appreciate the art of Christmas lights like they do back in good ole Atascocita, Tx!!  So, we desperately went out night after night looking for something that resembled a Christmas spirited neighborhood, and night after night came home disappointed.  I tell you what...that was a hard thing for me...our blissful tradition of looking at lights was somewhat crushed this year!  Well, Lord?  Are you teaching me that Christmas is more that Christmas lights and traditions???  Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, my joy was wrapped up in the wrong stuff?  I think that's what God has truly been working on me out here.  That the joy of the LORD is my strength...not the joy of traditions, and the joy of external things.  By the way...have I mentioned how faithful and good God is???  I love Him so much...I absolutely love being in the lonely, deep waters with HIM...that's the only way I can stay afloat!  Anyways, I have been seeing God work on my weaknesses of feeling anxious in this new life of mine.  Anxiety rivets from looking at my circumstances and feeling somewhat alone.  Blake is here, and has had amazingly awesome family time with us, but still...he is working full time and going to school full time.  I do life a lot with my precious boys, by myself.  That's a new, kind of scary feeling.  But then that gentle voice inside of me.  Oh that beautifully wonderful gentle voice, says..."but I'm here...you aren't alone".  I hear Him comfort me with His word,that He will give me wisdom without reproach, and He will help me know what to do and how to handle certain situations.  This is a new world He has gently...and I mean GENTLY placed me in.  Though my little predictable, perfect world has been completely and drastically changed, I can truly see my heavenly Fathers GENTLE hand in all of it.  He is REFINING me in ways that I have always wanted to be refined.  He is making me into the woman I need to be, and it had to be through something like this for me to be left so crazy vulnerable.  Though my heart still aches a little everyday right now, I have such a peace...I know I am in the fire right now...but I know it will not destroy me and I know that I will come out of the fire better.  Praise be to God, I love you Lord...I love you with my innermost being and trust that my pain had to pass through your hands first before it hit my life.

Ok, so with all of that said.  Tonight, we got the opportunity to go to a Christmas hayride at a church down the street.  I had given up my "traditions" to The Lord...I had let the part die this year, as sad as it was...then The Lord gave me and the boys this...the pictures hardly did it justice, but it was amazing.  At one point we pull up to a barn setting where there are people singing Christmas carols...I seriously almost started to cry...I felt my insides drink the sight of Christmas spirit in like a dry sponge and I really did want to just burst into joyful tears of gratitude to The Lord for such a special night.  We went through tunnels of Christms lights, movies clips of the Christmas story, live carollers, and then ended the night with hot chocolate, Christmas cookies and popcorn.  My heart overflowed!!  

 

 

 
 
 
 
 

What about him?

We live in a world today where if you are a mother of young children your worth is based on how "good of a mommy" you are.  We have Facebook, blogs and Pinterest all to broadcast our awesomeness to the world.  You read on Facebook how we love and cherish our children and how we did this and that really cool activity or outing...leaving the rest of the moms wondering if their day was productive enough with their children to let them rest in the assurance they are a good mommy.  Lately, God has been gently nudging my heart about a simple statement "what about him?".  "What about Blake".  If you read my blog, 95% of it is dedicated to my children and me cherishing every moment...but what about my marriage?  Do I invest the same energy, prayer, thought and WORK into my marriage that I do for my kids?  Sadly, I must say no.  

This past weekend I went to a womens conference called the Art of Homemakeing.  It was excellent.  I went to a breakout session that was talking about how to bring joy to your husband without losing yours.  Ya know, I new I needed work in the marriage department, but I didn't want to go in and here the same ole things...meet his physical needs, cook for him and brush your hair before he comes home from work.  I almost skipped this session, but I decided to go and I'm really glad I did.  The speaker reminded us that though my above points are needed, they aren't what will sustain the joy in your marriage.  You and Jesus are what will sustain your marriage.  Spending beautiful time with your savior every day is what will fill your heart and your mind with power.  I also was talking with a friend about praying for your husband when I realized I was praying for Blake the wrong way.  I need to pray biblical traits over him, but I also need to pray that God would change ME!  I am the problem here.  I am full of selfish ambition and I hate it!  I realized anything nice thing I did for Blake had motives ....hoping that he too would do something nice for me.  Wow.  I never really saw that.  Selfish ambition can destroy.  Get it out of your mind, hearts and lives.  The speaker reminded me that it's NOT ABOUT ME.  If we have that mindset in our marriage...wow...how awesome.  Once you remove that "it's not about you", then nothing will bother you!  He leaves dishes in the sink?  Whatever, it's not about me!  He loses the desire to surprise you with flowers??  Whatever, it's not about me!  It's about my savior, and I'm serving him by serving my husband!  It's time ladies...we must invest in our husbands the way we invest in our children.  Trust me, this is super hard transition for my mindset as well.  I need to be his cheerleader and I need to make a haven for him to come home to instead of it being about me when he comes home.  Ugh!  I hate selfish ambition...there is nothing good about it and that's why Paul tells us to do nothing from it!!

Invest in your husband by investing in your Lord.  You want joy in your marriage?  You want peace?  Quit looking to your husband for it.  You will get all of the above, when you go to your Savior every day, allowing him to fill you with all of that.  When you relieve your husband of the job of pleasing you and appeasing you, you will find that your marriage is different.  You will have more joy, and you will live in the peace of your expectations being in The Lord.  

Update...

Well, here we are, it's been 10 and a half weeks since we moved up here.  It really has been so amazing to see God work in our lives.  

One big answer to prayer was in the homeschool department of my life.  I knew I had felt called to homeschool, yet how on earth was I going to do it??  I was SO unequipped!!  Let me count the ways!!!  1. I am sooo not routine, how could I keep up with a schedule?  2. I am lazy, I don't want to do lesson plans or encourage my kids to do their school 3. What curriculum??  I have no idea how to do this?  4.  Totally average intelligence on my part...feeling inadequate there 5. 6. 7. 8....goes the list.  Well, The Lord reminded me that it was HE that was going to do the work, not me, so just follow His plan.  

1. My former childrens minister told me about a fantastic curriculum, so I bought it

2. God moved me 270 miles away so that I would not have this super busy schedule that would keep breaking up my routine

3. Because I am not strung out into a million different activities and play groups, I now have energy and time to do lesson plans and prepare and then teach.

4.  God brought a friend along who is now co-teaching with me and she teaches all 4 kids on Tuesday and I get the day off to do whatever I want!  Whaaaaaat????!!!  Oh God, you outdid yourself!!

Here, what I thought was impossible, God made SO possible.  I LOVE it!

Pleasing to you, Father

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer"- Psalms 19:14.  I love that verse.  As I am sitting here, it is the beloved nap time and I am drinking a cup of hot coffee, feeling the Lord's pull to blog about something.  I felt Him tug at my heart and say "just open up a blog post and start typing", so here I am and here I go.

Why is Psalms 19:14 so important to me?  Well, scripture says that whatever is in our hearts will eventually make it out of our mouths into the world.  I, as all may know, am a young mother of two precious, stinky boys, 3 and 4 years old.  A huge part of their character is being developed right now; before the age of 5.  So why would this verse be so vital to me?  Because whatever is on my heart, will come out of my mouth...eventually...and into the ears, minds and hears of my little boys who are soaking SO MUCH of what I say on a daily basis.  For example, we have these two dogs, one of which is Sancho Panza...let's just say, in my heart of hearts, I don't really looooove this dog.  So, when he is bad, everything in my heart about this dog comes out of my mouth..."Sancho!!!!!!  You are a BAD DOG!!  Sancho, no one really likes you!!!" Etc etc.  Well, who is watching this bad behavior of mine?  My boys...especially Parkerman, will watch me and be able to recount the whole thing to daddy (who by the way adores Sancho) when he gets home.  Yikes....Parker learned behavior...what did he learn?  When a dog frustrates you...you yell and scream at it.  "Anger of man, does not produce the righteousness of God"...my anger, no matter how justified, will NEVER produce righteousness in my children for whom I pray all-of-the-time that they will hunger and thirst for righteousness!!  

I know that was a silly example, but it's not really.  These little boys LEARN right and wrong majoritally from me, due to my husby working and going to school full time.  So all of my behaviors are being watched.  My heart needs to be meditating on TRUTH and what is pleasing to HIM!  When fear, anxiety, jealousy, and other "gunk" crowds your mind, and therefore your heart, you will notice that it will show up in your life in some form...you snap at your kids, you yell at the dog, you criticize everyone you know, you gossip...are these things we want our little children who we are desperately trying to raise to love Jesus to see and learn?  I sure don't.  Yet everyday I will find one of these lovely "flaws" show up in my life.  I pray on a regular basis, "Father God, please cover my mistakes with my children, help us unlearn bad behavior together, and take from my children's mind the mess-ups I had today." 

So how do we slowly fix this?  "Let the words if my mouth and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable to you, oh God!".  When you find "discord" in your mind or emotions...check it against The Lord...is it pleasing to Him?  No?  Then "put it away".  The Bible tells us to "put away" bad behavior...which means we have to get up, and take action, and put away a thought or reaction, etc.  Confess it to God, and replace it.  Instead of focussing on how mad you are at someone who wronged you, or how you feel like you were jipped in the area of life...whether it be salary or money or lack of time by yourself as a young mother...start reciting scripture, use Psams 19:14 as your starting place.  And most of all, know that it is impossible for you to be the perfect parent.  You MUST rely on God's beautiful strength to raise these children and know they will not be perfect...even God, who was the PERFECT parent, had kids who rebelled... :).

I love you dreams...

Tonight, Parker was getting into bed and he said "mommy...tonight I'm not going to have bad dreams...I'm going to dream that I followed you around and said 'I love you' all day".  Agh!!!  I love that boy!!!  He melts me!  Of course...that comment started the "I love you fest" between me, him and Beckham!  It was the best!

One of my favorites..:

To dunk Oreos in milk with my little loves...