Today

We had to take baby Jett to get his heal pricked for his newborn screen.  It was slightly traumatic as they had to keep pricking him in different places to get him to "bleed".  Well, it was too much for sweet Parkerman.  He started crying and told me he was worried Jett was going to die.  Oh, that sweet hearted boy.

Baby Jett's arrival...

For those of you who know me, know that I have longed for the day that I could experience childbirth.  Most people would roll their eyes when I would say that and reply with "you aren't missing anything", or "I wish I didn't have to experience childbirth", but even with negativity, it never once made me glad I hadn't experienced true labor and delivery.  My most precious Parker and Beckham arrived through c-sections.  Parker, I elected for c-section because back then, I was scared to death of labor and delivery and what it would do to my body, etc.  Beckham, I looked into a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section), and every doctor I talked to was EXTREMELY negative about it, explaining that worst case scenario, which is uterine rupture, would be catastrophic, giving my baby a 30% chance of cerebral palsy, or even worse, death of me and or the baby.  So as you can imagine, I chose c-section.  No one told me that the percent of that happening was only 1/2% higher than a momma who was delivering vaginally for the first time...no c-section.  So 1% was the chance of that happening to me.
SO, we move up here to Fort Worth, the Lord allows me to conceive, and I decided that even though I was going to have another c-section, I wanted to use a midwife- just because of the fabulous time and care midwives give.  I met Jenee, by the grace of God :).  She was a believer, a  VBAC momma herself, and a wonderful support to me for following my husbands leadership as a godly wife.  Blake was 100% against VBACS, so I told Jenee that if she tried to convince me to do a VBAC I would find someone else- because my husband said NO.  She totally understood that and never once mentioned it again- she honored Blake's leadership.
As time went on, I got to about 22 weeks and by then I had fully changed my mind about a c-section.  I was DREADING it, and had such negative feelings about it.  So I began to pray...I spent a whole day giving this feeling to the Lord, asking him to change Blake's heart, if I needed to have a different birthing experience.  That night, Blake came home and told me he had changed his mind about my delivery and could not get the negative feelings HE was having about my c-section out of his head, and it was time to consider a VBAC.  I almost fell over...God had changed his heart in one day...without a word from my mouth :).

So now...the birth:
It's 12am in the morning on July 9th, and  I am running into the room of my boys to Parker's cry out that his stomach was hurting and he felt like he was going to throw up.  So as I am getting him taken care of- I realize that labor was starting.  I was feeling regular intense contractions and spotting.  I knew it was really starting to happen...and I had gotten a great 1 hour of sleep!  uh oh!  So I sit up on the couch, because laying down was impossible, and I began to track the contractions.  From the beginning they were about 5 minutes apart.  I decided to call Jenee and she told me to wait till they were more intense and I needed her.  So at about 5:30 or 6am, Jenne came over to the house.  She checked me and confirmed what she thought...I was in major early labor- no 1 centimeter dilated and NO effacement.  WHAT?  Do you mean these INTENSE, crazy surges are EARLY labor????  That's what I felt.  I thought, ok, it's really time to focus on my relaxation techniques I had learned and force myself to rest during contractions.  So that's what I did...I was drifting in and out of sleep between contractions and really trying to see those surges for what they were...getting my baby to me.  I must say- it was the most intense feeling of my life.  There were several moments where I thought I wasn't going to make it.  I thought- I have a LONG way to go, and I don't know if I can stay on top of this feeling.  Jett, was in a bad position, so Jenee had me on my bed in this AWFUL positions 30 minutes at a time to get him to move.  Those were moments when I thought I might need someone to just knock me out.  haha.  She sent me to the chiropractor at around noon to get an adjustment to help move Jett and get my back labor to relieve.  So that was a 20 minute drive- I had my relaxation music on and was intensely focused, I almost don't remember what went on.  By then, I was having INTENSE surges, and several times they would come one on top of the other- with no break.  Yikes.  I can only imagine what the people in the waiting room at the chiropractor thought when I came in!  haha!   By then, I was just trying to keep myself from throwing up all over the place!  I was nauseous all day!  Ugh!
I get home around 1 or 2...can't remember...and Jenee checked me, where she found I was 4 centimeters and 80% effaced.  So she put me back in those awful positions to move Jett, and after 15-20 minutes I begged her to let me move- I couldn't take it anymore. 

So she decided to put me on the toilet.  Yep, the toilet for 5 sets of surges.  That causes the baby to really move down and put pressure on the cervix.  After about 3 or 4 surges I began to feel the need to push!  So Jenee got me off the toilet and put me on the exercise ball and forced me to let my body go limp and roll my hips around.

      (Really focusing- trying not to loose control and scream my lungs out)

So I did...for a while, focusing so intensely to survive this!  Then she told me to get up and walk around the house with Blake.  So, I did, I walked around and when I had to stop to breathe through a surge, I yelled for Jenne, because I reeeeally felt the pushing urge.  So, even though it had been 1 hour since she checked me at a 4, she decided to check me again.  Once she did, she urgently said, "get up, it's time to go to the hospital".  She starts calling for Blake to pack the car fast and get me in it, if I wanted this baby to be delivered at the hospital, we needed to GO!  So, even though I was in the middle of a strong surge, she pulls me up off the bed- I threw up 4 or 5 times, and she sent me in the car.  I was 9 centimeters.  So, we rushed to the hospital, and I am desperately trying not to push in the car with Blake.  We get up to labor and delivery at the hospital, and I am READY.  They barely had time to get me in the tub, and I began to push.  

    (My wonderful husband, encouraging me SO much)

    (My Midwife...love her)

My water broke in the tub, but baby Jett was not wanting to move out.  So they decided to put me on the bed and try some different positions.  So they laid me down and I began to push in the traditional on my back, legs up, position.  He started coming.  Everyone is telling me how great I am doing and to push push PUUUUSH!  So that's what I did.  So, after 2 hours of pushing...they told me to look down and grab my baby...YES...he was there, and I grabbed under his arms and pulled him out myself, laid him on my chest and heard the voice of angels...my little Jett screaming! 

He and I just laid there while the midwives took care of all the "other stuff"...staring at each other, nursing, loving each other.  I must say, that moment was magical.  The pain was gone, my precious baby was there and my wonderful husband who was SO INCREDIBLE through it all, was glowing.  I DID IT!  I DID IT!!!!!  I PUSHED a 10 POUND BABY OUT!!!  Of course...by the absolute grace of God.  He blessed my efforts.  He deserved all glory.  They finally took him from my arms to weigh him, and they helped me into a wonderful herbal bath where Jett joined me and we had a magical bath together...recovering from the biggest workout of my life!

And to my wonderful midwife Jenee...you were amazing...you encouraged me every step in The Lord and took such amazing care of me.  Not only a midwife, but a friend.  I hope our time together isn't over :).

So cute!

We looooove STICKERS!!!  So precious, that face :)

My birthday morning

My breakfast in bed while receiving fun happy birthday messages on my phone!!

Blake also made his FIRST pot of coffee for me and I didn't even tell him how.  It was delicious!!!

Surrounded by my precious family in bed.  We just all stayed there and had the most wonderful time...quality time...before church.  It truly was heaven!!!

My bday present...pretty nails and toenails!!  Hopefully they are still pretty when Jett comes!! ;)

Fourth of July

Here is baby Jett...still as comfy as ever!

My precious boys...trying to have as much fun as they can with a "boring" 9 months pregnant momma who can't take them anywhere fun!!!  ;)

Running start for "cannon balls" in the blow up pool!

Blake and I, after Blake working all day, and then our super fun dinner and Mexican Train game with neighbors...we are pooped!!  ;)

Boy, do I not have CONTROL!

So ever since Friday, God has truly been showing me that I have Z-E-R-O control over events in my life.  Here I am, 2 days past my due date and could literally go into labor at any moment.  Ok, so, in my mind, for me to do that:

1. The whole family needs to be NOT SICK, why?  Because well, Blake and I are obvious, but Parker and Beckham will be staying with my precious friend up here while I'm at the hospital, and she has two kids...don't want to share sickness...which brings me to...

2.  My friends family needs to be well, so they are up and ready for taking care of my kids, and that my kids don't bring any "yumminess" back home to a new baby!

3.  My midwife needs to not be in labor with another momma!

4.  I wanted my cousin to be able to take pictures, but she is a wife and mother of 4 and lives 2 hours away...so that was going to be interesting

Ok, so these are the variables for me to go into labor...in my mind!  And of course, I am always sure each day I wake up that TODAY has to be the day!

Well, Friday, Parker is stiffly all day, and complaining of a sore throat.  He also started running fever later in the day.  I started to panic because of #1 on my necessities and because I was SURE I was going into labor ON FRIDAY!

Ok, well, he was fine the next day, and I never went into labor, so whew!  Problem resolved.

Then, yesterday, my birthday AND the day I was SURE I was going to deliver, Parker starts with a case of diarrhea and an upset stomach.  Ohhhh NO!  What am I going to do?????  I'm going into labor today and who will watch my kids with the stomach bug!!!!  Oh man, and then we ALL are going to get it and that means I CANT go into labor today, because #1 MUST HAPPEN!!!!  So then I got SUPER discouraged because that meant I had to continue on in pregnancy for at least another week!!  On top of having to take care of a stomach bug baby which is like my WORST fear...they freak me out so bad!!!  Anxiety building!!!!!

Ok, so today, Parker is much better, but I got a message from my midwife that she might have to cancel my appointment because of another momma in possible early labor!!!!  Ohhhh NOOO!  #3!!!!!!!!!!!!  So that means, not today...I'm not going into labor today, and if that other mom is not in labor, she apparently is close!  Ugh!  Then Beckham JUST told me that his throat hurts!  Ok...so my kids do get sick...just like most kids...but this week has been odd!!  Hahaha...God is obviously taking my list of necessities and laughing at them!!  

Oh, and last Friday, my sweet cousin had a family emergency and had to jet out of town for a little while, along with camp and vacation for her family coming up really soon...so...looks as though #4 won't be working out.  

Well, Blake asked me yesterday why I was grumpy and I told him, basically all of the above.  Then he said something that was obvious, but a true eye opening experience for me..."Cathy, you are stressed sand worried about all things that you CANT CONTROL, so God is teaching you something here...who is in charge of all of this?  No you!  So quit being grumpy and trust in His sovereignty".  Hmmm...he is absolutely right!  This whole time I've been "trusting" in Gods timing and sovereignty, yet I had a secret plan for how it was going to play out and everytime it doesn't, I get frustrated!  So there it is...my HUGE lack of trust in the one who created life, and in the one who allows sickness and healing.  So when something else happens, I tend to chuckle to myself..."ok Lord, you have control, not me".  The hardest part though, is still being pregnant...I'm in so much pain, I'm home bound due to a cramp I get in my right leg that could put us in danger in the car, and I can't sleep! Haha...on top of the stretched feeling and utter exhaustion!  That, I think is what gets me so so down!  But...I am going to survive, and I HAVE to trust The Lord!!  I can't wait to update this blog after Jett comes to show HIS hand in all if this waiting :)

We are ready!

Looks like I'm not the only one ready for baby Jett to be here!!  Lol...sweet Parkerman loading baby Jett up with stickers!