To my boys

Tonight after putting you to bed- I have a heavy heart while hearing all of my imperfections as your mother in my head;  I shouldn't have said this, I shouldn't have handle it that way, I am not loving you the way you deserve, etc etc ect.  I sat down before the Lord- tears in my eyes- repeating Psalm 62:5 "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him".  I waited, in silence, shoulders shaking from the tears rolling down my eyes- and then I heard HIM- my heavenly daddy say "I picked you to be his mother".  That's right- My GOD- hand picked imperfect me specifically to be each of your mommy- and there is a real purpose for who you will be through how I parent you.  His strength will perfect my weaknesses as a mother.  Parker, Beckham, Jett and Denver- I am so sorry for my failures as your mommy- but trust me when I say this- I love you more than life itself and I rely daily on HIS strength to be able to show you just how deep that love is.  I'm soooooo thankful HE chose ME to be your mom.  I love you.

2 years ago.

2 years ago my sweet Jett- you were snuggling in my arms- just 3 hours old.  I had waited two years for you- thinking that God had closed my womb- and little did I know he had such a precious little boy waiting with Him for the perfect time.  You are everything I prayed for when you were growing inside of me.  I prayed that you would bring laughter to our family and joy and that you would fit right in.  Boy did God ever blow us away with you.  You are so funny and bring so much joy to us in so many ways.  We love making you happy and doing things you love.  I'll love you forever- I'll like you for always- as long as I'm living- my JETT you'll be.  Today was your day Jett- I loved celebrating YOU!

This kid.

So, Jett eats his eggs at his little table in the living room everyday...EXCEPT the days I microwave his left over eggs in a little glass jar.  He then sits on the kitchen floor and tells me "down mommy" while patting the floor so I will sit down and feed him his eggs on the kitchen floor.  I had done that one or two time before and he now sees the little glass bowl and assumes that's what it's for.  SO PRECIOUS!  Here is a pic!

My heart

When I walked in on the boys with all of their stuffed animals on the floor and Parker and Beckham were "teaching"- my heart filled to the top with joy.  The time is coming very soon when these little hearts of mine won't love their stuffed animals so much.  I am cherishing moments like this.

Mother's Day

My Mother's Day.  I am so thankful to the Lord for these 4 boys.  So thankful He chose me to be their mommy.  I love them so much.

Full heart

Tonight my heart is so full after putting the boys to bed.  Listening to Parker and Beckham in bed together reading books and having so much fun while Jett is "downstairs" in the bunk talking to himself.  I got to rock Jett tonight and sing to him- I loved every minute.  Rocking Denver to sleep was especially fun tonight because I got to sing hymns in his ear while he calmed down.  So snuggly and precious.  I just love those boys so much.  Tonight Jett was in the playroom getting frustrated with a toy while I was cleaning the kitchen.  I went into the room to see what was wrong and he handed me the offending toy and then patted the floor and said "down" for me to sit with him.  My heart absolutely melted; nothing in the world mattered at that moment and it just felt so good to sit and play with my Jett.  

My heart is overflowing with love for these precious boys; overflowing with gratefulness to the Lord that I get to be their mommy.  I just want to weep in front of him sometimes- telling him thankyou for giving me another day of good health and energy to be their mom.  

Denver James

My precious Denver James- I love you so big and so deep.  It's pretty special staring at my last baby...taking it all in.  So what are some things I'm cherishing?

Sticking my face in yours when you sleep and smelling that sweet newborn breath. Some of my favorite times are rocking you while you sleep...staring and snuggling you my sweet tiny baby boy.

You are smiling big now- I love sitting and talking to you...one of my favorite things to do- while you coo and "talk" back to me.

This bear...you love this bear.  The other day I put you down on your boppy pillow with your bear while I put your big brothers to sleep and you fell asleep!  I just about died.  So precious ❤️❤️❤️

You are my little sunshine and I'm so grateful to the Lord for you.  My littlest- my baby.