On October 8th at 12:26am my little world changed from being mommy of Parker to being mommy of Parker and Beckham. Wow...what a morning that was. So here is my recollection of the past month...
Thursday, October 7th, I decided it was time to blog. I wrote to my precious little Parker, telling him how much I loved him and how he would always be my little boy even though my heart was about to expand to love another little boy. Man, am I glad I did that blog, because little did I know, my water would break that very evening causing me to deliver earlier that I was expecting.
October 7th was such a wonderful day. Blake came home early from the auction, and while Parker was still napping, we had such wonderful quality time, relaxing on the bed talking about life. Once Parker woke up, the 3 of us laid in bed, eating snacks and watching cartoons...it was heaven and I will always be grateful to the Lord for giving me that afternoon with my boys.
At 8:30pm- that night- Parker was asleep, and Blake and I were eating pizza watching a movie and all of the sudden...woosh! My water broke. It wasn't a lot, so I wasn't sure if that's really what happened, so I called the nurse and was advised to pack my bags and get up to the hospital. Wow...I began to panic...however, Blake calmed me down- Twyla came over and spent the night with Parker and Blake and I rushed up to the hospital to welcome our new little Beckham Cole Theiss, 9lbs, 8oz, into the world. After all of that- I knew God had a perfect plan with that surprise and I would not have changed any of it!
So, now I am a mommy of two. Wow, that sounds so weird and so grown up! It has been 3 weeks and as I reflect on the past 3 weeks, I can say that it has been an emotional roller-coaster! Not being able to pick Parker up for 2 weeks and not be able to rough house with him was probably the hardest part. I cried more times when I had to tell Parker that I couldn't hold him or pick him up, and watch the tears in his eyes ask me why. Oh, I hated that.
However, I am recovered physically, and now that Blake is back to work, and my mom is back to work and now I am by myself taking care of these boys- it is SO fulfilling! It is SO fulfilling to be able to play with Parker and pick him up and run around with him. It is SO fulfilling to know that God is helping me with this new life and see how He enables me to somehow make this work! I am utterly exhausted from lack of sleep- however, God has given me energy and excitement every morning to start my new day!
So...even though I have only put 3 weeks under my belt- I know that God is good and God is faithful and I know that He sees the desires of my heart and the desires I have to enjoy raising my boys...and I know that he will enable me to enjoy these years!!! Praise God!!!!
In Dee Forrest****** I am a mommy to four wonderful little boys. I love my role and want to remember every little detail of the days that I get to spend with them as a stay-at-home mommy. I am a homeschooling momma with a husband who is working full time along with full time seminary. This blog is to help me work through the daily, but mainly, it's to help me remember precious little moments that I never want to forget and cherish forever!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
My heart is pounding....
To my sweet Parker:
I sit here typing this to you as I remember when you came into my world. I never knew the love my heart could have until I began to watch you, my own flesh and blood, grow every day. Every stage you entered I could not imagine loving another stage more than that one- and then you would transition and the excitement and love for each new stage grew more and more. You are my precious little angel, and I love you more than you will ever know.
On Monday, God will bring your baby brother into this world. My heart is so excited to see him and to love him, yet so anxious at the thought of you not being my only child. To get to wake up every day and be just your mommy is one of my greatest life thrills- I'm anxious to think of having to share my heart with another child. I hope that you know you are still my precious baby...I love you so much no matter what you do or don't do- I will love you forever even when I can't give you the attention that you are used to.
As tears stream down my face while I write this- please know I cherish you....I cherish every little teeny tiny moment with you...when we take bubble baths and watch cartoons, when we sit and eat breakfast together and talk about nothing, when you turn and hug and kiss me after I brush your teeth, when you run from me while we play hide and seek, when you light up in the morning when I come in to get you...the list goes on and on...I love everyday with you and I am so happy that I get to be your mommy.
Blake- thank you for being the husband and father you are. Thank you for taking a step in faith and allowing me the opportunity to stay home and raise our children. Everyday when you come home from work- I still feel that excited flutter when I hear the garage door open. You come in and make our little world exciting. I love you more than I did 10 years ago when we began dating and I am so appreciative of how involved you are in our child's life. You truly are my partner and my soul mate and I love you very much.
Heavenly Father, thank you for entrusting a little child to me. Thank you for teaching me in an earthly manner more about the love you have for me through the love I have for my child. Thank you that you ALLOW me to enjoy and love these tender moments in my child's life and thank you that no matter how fulfilling motherhood can be- I MUST be fulfilled first in you before my heart can be filled with my love for my children. Thank you, that you have allowed another precious child to grow within me and I trust that you will enable me to love my little Beckham just as much as my sweet Parker....
I sit here typing this to you as I remember when you came into my world. I never knew the love my heart could have until I began to watch you, my own flesh and blood, grow every day. Every stage you entered I could not imagine loving another stage more than that one- and then you would transition and the excitement and love for each new stage grew more and more. You are my precious little angel, and I love you more than you will ever know.
On Monday, God will bring your baby brother into this world. My heart is so excited to see him and to love him, yet so anxious at the thought of you not being my only child. To get to wake up every day and be just your mommy is one of my greatest life thrills- I'm anxious to think of having to share my heart with another child. I hope that you know you are still my precious baby...I love you so much no matter what you do or don't do- I will love you forever even when I can't give you the attention that you are used to.
As tears stream down my face while I write this- please know I cherish you....I cherish every little teeny tiny moment with you...when we take bubble baths and watch cartoons, when we sit and eat breakfast together and talk about nothing, when you turn and hug and kiss me after I brush your teeth, when you run from me while we play hide and seek, when you light up in the morning when I come in to get you...the list goes on and on...I love everyday with you and I am so happy that I get to be your mommy.
Blake- thank you for being the husband and father you are. Thank you for taking a step in faith and allowing me the opportunity to stay home and raise our children. Everyday when you come home from work- I still feel that excited flutter when I hear the garage door open. You come in and make our little world exciting. I love you more than I did 10 years ago when we began dating and I am so appreciative of how involved you are in our child's life. You truly are my partner and my soul mate and I love you very much.
Heavenly Father, thank you for entrusting a little child to me. Thank you for teaching me in an earthly manner more about the love you have for me through the love I have for my child. Thank you that you ALLOW me to enjoy and love these tender moments in my child's life and thank you that no matter how fulfilling motherhood can be- I MUST be fulfilled first in you before my heart can be filled with my love for my children. Thank you, that you have allowed another precious child to grow within me and I trust that you will enable me to love my little Beckham just as much as my sweet Parker....
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Little things about today...
Today was a fun day for a few small reasons. So, I thought I would blog the few little things that made me just grin, grin, grin!!!
1. Changing Parker's stinky diaper today and HE said "Pew WEE"....hahaha...oh, I laughed at that!
2. I accidentally dropped an ice-cube while filling up my drink and I gave it to Parker and told him to go give it to the puppies...he did and loved every minute of it- running back to me for another ice-cube...so we fed the puppies ice-cubes
3. I had him up on the toilet getting him undressed for his bath...just looking at my little boy with his diaper on...still so small...able to still be held in my arms....oh, so sweet
4. After bath time- we were in his room and we put his new pj's on that were long sleeve and he kept pulling at his sleeves saying "STUCK"...can you tell my child isn't used to wearing long sleeves!! haha...oh, that made me laugh!
5. After he had his pj's on he would go stand by the door and I would say "Come give mommy hugs!!!" and then count to 3 and he would run and jump into my arms.....ohhhhhhh, if I could only make that last forever.
6. We went to the HEB grand opening party tonight and I was pushing Parker in the stroller...because of the live band and TON of people, Parker was in a trance staring at everything. Occasionally I would bend down and grab his attention smiling at him and he would smile back so sweetly and start pointing things out to me...it was such a small thing, but I can still see him looking back up at me smiling with a look of comfort and recognition in a very strange environment.
7. At lunch when he would put a raisin in his mouth I would say "Mmmmmmm!!!!" and he would repeat "MMMMmmmmm" back at me....made me laugh... and him too!!!
Oh...my little snuggle puppy of mine...."everything about you is especially fine...I love what you are...I love what you do...oh, little snuggle puppy I LOVE YOU!!!!!"
1. Changing Parker's stinky diaper today and HE said "Pew WEE"....hahaha...oh, I laughed at that!
2. I accidentally dropped an ice-cube while filling up my drink and I gave it to Parker and told him to go give it to the puppies...he did and loved every minute of it- running back to me for another ice-cube...so we fed the puppies ice-cubes
3. I had him up on the toilet getting him undressed for his bath...just looking at my little boy with his diaper on...still so small...able to still be held in my arms....oh, so sweet
4. After bath time- we were in his room and we put his new pj's on that were long sleeve and he kept pulling at his sleeves saying "STUCK"...can you tell my child isn't used to wearing long sleeves!! haha...oh, that made me laugh!
5. After he had his pj's on he would go stand by the door and I would say "Come give mommy hugs!!!" and then count to 3 and he would run and jump into my arms.....ohhhhhhh, if I could only make that last forever.
6. We went to the HEB grand opening party tonight and I was pushing Parker in the stroller...because of the live band and TON of people, Parker was in a trance staring at everything. Occasionally I would bend down and grab his attention smiling at him and he would smile back so sweetly and start pointing things out to me...it was such a small thing, but I can still see him looking back up at me smiling with a look of comfort and recognition in a very strange environment.
7. At lunch when he would put a raisin in his mouth I would say "Mmmmmmm!!!!" and he would repeat "MMMMmmmmm" back at me....made me laugh... and him too!!!
Oh...my little snuggle puppy of mine...."everything about you is especially fine...I love what you are...I love what you do...oh, little snuggle puppy I LOVE YOU!!!!!"
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tears in my eyes...
Today- I was listening to KSBJ and they had Steven Curtis Chapman on there talking a little about the tragedy they experienced of losing their 5 year old daughter- it was an accident in front of their house that changed their world forever. As I was sitting in my car listening to him I started to put myself in their shoes...I started thinking how devastating it would be to not ever see my baby's smile again or never get to see and FEEL him run up to me and throw his arms around my neck. Tears began to well up when I thought I could never chase him around the house or play peak-a-boo or even have him come up to me crying longing for me to make it better. These types of thoughts flooded my mind to the point where if I didn't stop "empathizing" I would be bawling in my car! It was a huge experience for me- because the past couple of days/weeks off and on Parker has been really testing me, however, his WORST day would be the Chapman's dream if they could have their little girl back. Even though I may get frustrated with my little boy- I-STILL-HAVE-HIM! As my tears are falling down my cheeks I looked back at Parker who had fallen asleep in his car seat...so perfect and so sweet...I just wanted to crawl back there with him and snuggle with him and tell him "Baby boy, even when you are at your worst, I am so grateful I can see and touch you and hold you and love you and kiss you- you are my precious gift from God and no matter what you will always have my heart".
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Today was such a wonderful day! First, Blake was off and it is always so fun when he is home to add excitement and joy to our everyday adventures. Today was nothing extraordinary, but in it's own way it was to me. I know that I only have a little over 6 weeks till Beckham makes his appearance and only 6 weeks where Parker gets my 100% attention.
The fun began as the three of us sat on the couch to eat our hamburgers for lunch and watch TV together. I, however, did not watch TV as I just sat and stared at my boys. Parker holding and eating his hamburger like such a big boy, next to Blake eating his hamburger and both of them staring at the TV with the same expression on their face. It was the cutest thing and I could not take my eyes off of them. I loved how Parker would hand his hamburger to daddy when he was ready to drink milk from his sippy cup or when he wanted to eat a french fry.
Later after getting home from the grocery store, we broke out the playdoh that I had purchased. So simple, yet so fulfilling to just sit and mash playdoh into different shapes; at one point daddy and Parker were making mustaches and I was taking pictures. It was so funny.
We then came back to the bedroom and Parker and I laid on the bed and watched Sponge Bob on TV while daddy worked on the computer. For just a moment he laid next to me on the pillow...I loved it...I never wanted it to end. Then, from watching he and daddy jumping on the bed to playing with him on the floor to taking a walk in his red wagon- it was a day filled with joy...joy that filled my heart up making me yearn for the next day to come quicker so I can live it all over again.
After a string of days where Parker tested me emotionally and physically- I needed today- I needed a day that I wasn't having to correct him all day, a day that I could just be silly and laugh with him all day, a day that I could enjoy my baby boy for all that he is!
The fun began as the three of us sat on the couch to eat our hamburgers for lunch and watch TV together. I, however, did not watch TV as I just sat and stared at my boys. Parker holding and eating his hamburger like such a big boy, next to Blake eating his hamburger and both of them staring at the TV with the same expression on their face. It was the cutest thing and I could not take my eyes off of them. I loved how Parker would hand his hamburger to daddy when he was ready to drink milk from his sippy cup or when he wanted to eat a french fry.
Later after getting home from the grocery store, we broke out the playdoh that I had purchased. So simple, yet so fulfilling to just sit and mash playdoh into different shapes; at one point daddy and Parker were making mustaches and I was taking pictures. It was so funny.
We then came back to the bedroom and Parker and I laid on the bed and watched Sponge Bob on TV while daddy worked on the computer. For just a moment he laid next to me on the pillow...I loved it...I never wanted it to end. Then, from watching he and daddy jumping on the bed to playing with him on the floor to taking a walk in his red wagon- it was a day filled with joy...joy that filled my heart up making me yearn for the next day to come quicker so I can live it all over again. After a string of days where Parker tested me emotionally and physically- I needed today- I needed a day that I wasn't having to correct him all day, a day that I could just be silly and laugh with him all day, a day that I could enjoy my baby boy for all that he is!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I love you just because you're you
Tonight as I was getting Parker ready for bed, I read a book to him called "I love you just because". It is the most precious book and as I am reading it I feel my heart, not my mouth, pouring out the words to my little boy. So here is my own version....
Parker-
I love you when you laugh so hard you get the hiccups
I love you when you run and play hide and seek
I love you when you throw a tantrum over something insignificant
I love you when you clap for me after I dance
I love you when you hate my cooking
I love you when you love my cooking
I love you when you have stinky diapers
I love you when you get out of the bath tub and smell so clean
I love you when you dance around in the shower
I love you when you walk into a room and say "Hiiiii dada"!
I love you when you laugh and chase the dogs
I love you when you dance when Sponge Bob comes on
I love you when you run up to me and kiss me and bear hug me
I love you when you run up to me crying needing my full attention
I love you when you disobey me
I love you when you obey me the first time
I love you when you are grouchy for no reason
I love you when you are super happy
I love you when you sleep
I love you when you don't sleep
I love you when you snuggle with me
I love you when you run off and do your own thing
I love you, my precious baby boy- I love you with all my heart and would give my life for you- I love you no matter what you do or what you don't do...I love you just because you're YOU!
Parker-
I love you when you laugh so hard you get the hiccups
I love you when you run and play hide and seek
I love you when you throw a tantrum over something insignificant
I love you when you clap for me after I dance
I love you when you hate my cooking
I love you when you love my cooking
I love you when you have stinky diapers
I love you when you get out of the bath tub and smell so clean
I love you when you dance around in the shower
I love you when you walk into a room and say "Hiiiii dada"!
I love you when you laugh and chase the dogs
I love you when you dance when Sponge Bob comes on
I love you when you run up to me and kiss me and bear hug me
I love you when you run up to me crying needing my full attention
I love you when you disobey me
I love you when you obey me the first time
I love you when you are grouchy for no reason
I love you when you are super happy
I love you when you sleep
I love you when you don't sleep
I love you when you snuggle with me
I love you when you run off and do your own thing
I love you, my precious baby boy- I love you with all my heart and would give my life for you- I love you no matter what you do or what you don't do...I love you just because you're YOU!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Funny new things...
Tonight, as I was reading books to Parker before bed he started to tell me when he didn't like a book by waving his hands in front of it and saying "no" and then pushing it away. It was so funny and so cute.....
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