Put the following script in the head of your page: ============================================================

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A mother's love

As I sit here typing, I cannot explain the overflowing love that is welling up in me for my children.  I sit here wanting to type all of it out for the sole purpose of documenting this journey as a mother to two young boys...never to forget how precious they are to me and forcing me into cherishing every single little moment.  As I walk through my day- I will have moments of pure gratitude to my Heavenly Father- pure gratitude for the beauty of a moment with my children- pure gratitude for the health of my children- pure gratitude that I AM THE ONE HE chose to raise these babies- pure gratitude that MY womb held them.  They are in my care and oh...am I so grateful to my God!!!

I love sitting on the driveway blowing bubbles (that is now that Beckham doesn't try and DRINK them anymore!  whew!).  I love watching them "mow" the grass.  I love that no matter how tired or worn out I am and no matter how much I just want to SIT and relax- when Parker excitedly and longingly asks me to come play with him or to show me something I somehow get an energy burst to do it!  I love watching Beckham learn how to feed himself with a spoon and I love watching him develop into a little boy instead of my little baby (which he will always be, by the way :)).  I love how when I sit down and spread my arms asking Beckham to come hug me...he RUNS laughing the whole way and leaps into my arms holding tight.  I love watching them feed the ducks.  I love watching them play in the backyard.  I love that even though Beckham doesn't talk- when I ask him questions like "do you love mommy??"...he nods his head!  (he also nods his head to "do you eat poo poo, but who cares- I love asking him anyways and seeing him nod!  ha!)  I love that no matter how fussy Beckham can be (and he is SO FUSSY ALL DAY) all he has to do is laugh or smile at you or snuggle close to you and your heart is in his hands!  I love getting excited with my boys...about who knows what.  I love playing with them, I love being with them, I love rocking them at night, I love how tender and sweet their hearts are, I love how shy Parker is.  OH, I love them so much.  I love having picnics on the grass with them...I love laying on the grass with Parker.  I love laying in bed with Parker talking about life.  I love that they both love coffee!!  :)

Blake and I are beginning the process to adopt.  We are going to an orientation tonight at an adoption agency.  Of course, anytime I see my little family starting to expand I begin to draw my current family in tight.  Loving on them, focusing on them, enjoying the time I have with JUST them- knowing I will never get this time back.  My babies, my boys- they are bliss.  Parker and Beckham- though we might be getting some sisters for you two- you are my precious babies.  I love you with a love I will never ever be able to explain to you- a love that would make me give my life for you- a love that until you have babies of your own, you will never be able to understand.  I pray everyday that God would correct in you my mistakes.  I am not perfect- I do wrong things and I trust that God's grace will fix it.  I pray everyday that you two will love and serve our Lord with all of your heart the minute you can understand what Calvary means.  I pray that you two will be missionaries or pastors.  I pray that one day when this life is over- I will see you two in Heaven.  When I think of the day that I see you two give your heart to Jesus, tears well in my eyes.  I long for that day. 

My life as a mother, though hard, and tiring, and though I get frustrated....it is by far one of the greatest honors God could give me. 

No comments:

Post a Comment