He is 8 months!!!!

Ohhhh boo bear....my little bubba, my sinky boy, my tooty toot, my booty bear my sweet baby Beckham. You are 8 months today and oh how you have brought so much joy, bliss, love and laughter to our family. You smile non-stop, you make me laugh, you make my heart sing- everyday I get to wake up and be your mommy I am overjoyed. I love you more than my heart ever dreamed that I would or could!
I love....
how you started saying "bu-bu-bu-bu-bu"
how you put your pacifier in upside down
how you get SO excited when I see you and start talking to you
how you scoot around on the floor faster than I can say stop!!
how you love it when I hold you
how you scoot over to my lap when I am sitting on the floor
how you eat whatever I put in your mouth!!
how you look at me
rocking you and you snuggling with me
making you laugh
you making me laugh
how you adore your big bubba
how easy going you are
how you smile ALL OF THE TIME!!! And a BIG CHEESY smile too!
that you are still toothless!!

I love you more than you will ever know....8 months God has blessed me with you....looking forward to being your mommy as long as God will bless me with the job!!!!!!!

I love you boo!!!!!!

Going to bed...

Tonight during our bedtime routine, I was finished reading books to Parker- so I asked him my usual questions..."do you want mommy to rock you?" and he said "ya...mommy rock"- so that is what we did. After we prayed, I said, "give mommy kisses"- well, he is in a phase where he will cover his mouth up with his hands...so I pulled his hands away and gave him a big kiss-a-roo! He thought that was HILARIOUS...so we did that over and over again and he laughed SO HARD that he got the hickups. I am not kidding...it was the BEST! Then, when I think it can't get any better- I asked him if he wanted me to sing to him...he said yes, so I asked him what he wanted me to sing and in his own little language he said "I'll love you forever"....my FAVORITE song...so as I started to sing it, he sang it with me...heaven!! Then I said, "sing to mommy I"ll love you forever"...and so he started singing it...given...I couldn't understand all the words, but oh how sweet it was to hear my sweet 2 year old....hanging on to my neck while I rocked him...singing to me "I'll love you forever". Then as I tucked him into bed, he asked me to lay next to him...so I did, and then when it was time for me to leave, I got face to face and whispered "love you" and he whispered back "love you" and I whispered "night night" and he whispered "night night". Every part of tonight was so special and filled my cup to the brim. When I shut Parker's door tonight, I put my hand to my chest and took a sigh....a sigh of utter bliss......

At the Park on a hot summer day....

Just got home from a park adventure on a seriously hot summer day. Boys are asleep in their bed and this mommy has some time to reflect :)

It is so amazing to me how some of the fun things that I would do just to be creative stuck in Parker's mind. He remembers how when we find a really cool stick, we go to a certain spot and sit down and draw in the dirt with them. He remembers how when he goes in the tunnel I am supposed to try and grab him through the holes on the outside, he remembers how when I stick him in the swing he wants to go "HIGH", he remembers the spot that we would always run through the leaves, he remembers how when we go sit in the little play house we act like he is fixing dinner and he puts sticks and leaves on the table for me to eat...but not so fast...he will wipe the table clean before mommy can eat and he thinks it's SOOOO FUNNY. And he remembers how when we are done playing at the park, we like to go over to the fountain that's a good walk away and throw rocks in the fountain. We have a little park routine and it is so amazing to me how at not even 2 1/2 he knows what we do. It fills me up when I see him so much enjoy little "tricks" for fun that I do and adopt them as his own. Wow...what a treasure to see my traits become his. I love it!

What I love about being a mommy....

Lately, I have had "moments" with my children that I simply LOVE...I need to write them down, so that I will never forget what little things I love everyday about being a mommy...
-Going in to get Beckham out of his bed when he wakes up in the morning...he is happy and grinning from ear to ear and absolutely giddy when I say hi to him...he smiles and squirms around with excitement.
-After bath-time, spending time with my boys in their PJs in my room....Beckham scooting around on the floor and Parker "playing" the guitar singing Jesus Loves Me. Parker will go play with Beckham, rolling him around on the floor- laughing...both of them- laughing and loving each other.
-Rocking my sweet little Beckham...sometimes he is quiet and still in my arms, sometimes he is squirming around, but either way, just holding him in my arms and looking at him and staring into his eyes.
-The occasions that I have to wake Beckham up from his nap- watching him sleep first, so peaceful and precious...then when I pick him up- he is still so tired and groggy...snuggling with me :)
-When it's time for Parker to go to bed, I love that he wants me to read him books, I love that he WANTS me to rock him and snuggle with him before he gets in bed.
-I love that I can now talk to Parker and have little conversations with him...it's so fun
-I love having fun with my kids...going to the pool, having adventures, doing fun activities....I love living life with them.
-I love it when Parker wants me to do something with me, he will get behind me and push me and say "go mommy"....I love that he wants me to play with him.
-I love watching my boys love each other. Tonight I told Parker to tell Beckham good night...he said "night night, Bubba, love you" and then blew him a kiss
-I love that Parker calls Beckham "bubba"
-I love making my boys laugh
-I love sitting at the dinner table with them
-I love hearing Parker talk using real words
-I love watching Beckham learn how to scoot around the floor- he is so fast and so determined. It's the cutest thing!!!
-I love singing to my boys "I'll love you forever"- and I love that Parker will occasionally sing along with me
-I love when Parker wants us to come play in his room and when Beckham and I get in there he shuts the door
-I love that no matter what's going on- Beckham will always look and find me
-I love staring at Beckham asleep on my video monitor
-Baby breath...I know...sounds gross, but it's the sweetest smell on earth!!
-I love kissing my babies....kissing those chubby little cheeks!!!
-I love rocking Beckham after his 4am feeding...asleep in my arms
-I love that no matter how much Parker has "tested" me throughout the day- when he is in my arms and I am rocking him before bed all of the day's frustrations melt away

Oh- I love being these boys' mommy!!!!!!

My testimony...

Currently I am going through a Colossians Bible study. One of my assignments was to write my testimony. So- being a goody too shoes all my life I sat down and prayed that God would show me what my testimony was and help me write one. Well, He did and here is what HE wrote......

When asked to give my testimony my usual response is, “I don’t have a testimony- I was saved very young and a goody too shoes all of my life”. I can’t tell you that I used to be addicted to drugs or that I had a near death experience or that I hated Christians and then converted to one….nope- all I can say is that when I was around 7 I gave my life to Jesus and have been serving Him ever since. However, as I have gotten older I am realizing that I do have a testimony- I have a testimony that tells people that even when you have been saved all of your life and been serving Jesus all of your life- you can still live a life filled with bondage and fear. That was and sometimes still is me.

Fear of everything….fear of sickness, fear of people, fear of God (in a bad way), fear of bugs, fear of the future…fear fear fear is what enveloped my life for so long. There were times when I would live in so much fear that depression would over whelm me. Here I was- everything going perfectly in my life- but scared that the “other shoe would drop” and all would go away and I would be devastated. So I couldn’t enjoy what God was doing in my life, because I was too fearful of what he might do to “teach me a life lesson” or discipline me.

It wasn’t until about 1-2 years ago that I realized how much bondage defined my life. I still struggle with it to this day- but God has taught me SO much about Him and my relationship with HIM! I realized that in order for this bondage to be broken I must spend quality time with him every-single-day or the freeing agent for bondage….the Spirit of God- has no power to work. I realized that I could truly believe that “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom”. I realized that I didn’t have to feel and act the way I had been acting. I didn’t have to be fearful- I didn’t have to be frustrated, I could actually have a different response to things through the Spirit- and it was just that easy…I could make a conscious decision to ACT DIFFERENTLY, because the Spirit of the Lord lives inside of me. I often times will wake up at 5:30 in the morning…now..I am one who believes that no one should be awake and functioning at 5:30 in the morning- however, when I wake up and can’t go back to sleep…for no reason…I realized that was God- gently waking me, telling me He has something for me to hear. It’s amazing the times that when I actually listen to God, and meet with Him when He asks me to- how intimate the time I have with Him is. He may not solve my problems, He may not give me an answer- but I know He has been with me and I know He has HEARD me and I know we had a moment…just me and God developing a relationship between daughter and Father. It’s amazing. It’s life giving, it’s freeing, it’s unexplained. All my life of a personal relationship with Jesus and I am JUST NOW seeing how freeing He is, how He truly is the living water…a continuous flow of life through me. “I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me….makes the lame to walk, and the blind to see- opens prison doors sets the captives free…I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me!”

Boo Bear is 7 months

Today is Mother's Day- and as an added bonus my boo bear turns 7 months!!! So what is my sweet baby Beckham up to these days?? Let's discuss all of the little things I wuv about my boo bear!

-When I sing my little "Where is Mommy" song (Where is thumbkin toon)- no matter what he is looking at or where he is looking his eyes will always find mine and he will have the biggest hugest smile!! I also sang this song to Parker to get him to start looking for me and now as I sing it to Beckham, no matter where Parker is in the house he will come RUNNING in and yell at me with a big huge smile!!! It's the best!
-NO matter what- this child, when he looks at me he will smile!
-When I walk up to him- he is starting to reach up for me to pick him up
-He is starting to pat things
-When someone else is holding him and I am in the room- he will stare at me.......it's the most endearing most precious thing, because I KNOW that will not last forever!
-After I feed him- if I just hold him and rock him laying on my chest- he will look up at me and just stare into my eyes....I LOOOOVE that....the most sweet precious moments!
-Beckham is one active dude....he is squirming and wiggling and rolling and constantly wanting to move- so when I get my quiet moments where he just sleeps in my arms- like at 4am when I feed him- it fills my heart up...even though I am exhausted at 4am- I find myself just holding him and rocking even when I could go ahead and put him down and go back to sleep.
-Last night- he was really fussy at bedtime- so I went in and got him and then rocked him- he actually let me rock him to sleep and I got to just hold him and stare at him...loving this baby so soooo much.
-He is eating food now- mainly apple sauce, mashed up bananas and oatmeal with almond milk. He's really eating that well.
-He LOVES his big bubba....everything Parker does is funny to him....it's SOOO cute!

Ok- well, that is my boo bear! Such a funny, happy little baby boy and one that this mommy loves loves loves!!!

The mommy of the mommy....

As a mother- I daily reflect on my childhood as things happen with my children- I daily think, how would my mom have handled this situation and how did I feel as a child when certain things happened.
So as mother's day is upon us, I began reflecting on my mom- and as I sit here tonight, writing about her- it brings such a warm flood of memories into my heart.
My mom- (and I refer to her in past tense, not because she is dead- because she is fully alive, but in reference to my childhood)- was such a tender soul. Strong disciplinarian- STRONG- stronger than I am- however, the only memories I have reference her as a quiet, gentle, SAFE mother that did nothing but comfort, love and care for us. I was a "doosy" of a child- I not only required WAY more discipline than my brother, but I also was so attached to my mom that she could hardly go to the restroom without me being in her business....in fact- I KNOW that she could NOT go to the restroom without me being in her business! I have memories of following my mom to the bathroom and talking to her while she was using the restroom, and of course, my mom the gentle soul that she was would lovingly respond and interact with me no matter where she was or what she was doing. I never once felt like I was bothering my mom- I felt the opposite- I felt like she wanted me to following her around the house talking non-stop about whatever life topics I needed to discuss.
My mom didn't really like to shop, do arts and crafts, ride loopy rides at Astro World, and didn't have a fondness for jewelry...I LOVED to shop, LOVED to do arts and crafts, LOVED rides at Astroworld, and LOVED jewelry! So, what did my mom do? She did all of the above. We would do all kinds of things together (things that I liked to do) even though it wasn't her "thing"- she would do them so that it would make me happy. She would take me, Jimmy, & Neil (our neighbor and might as well have been her adopted son) to Astroworld every Thursday during the Summer- we didn't miss a week- and Jimmy & Neil would go off and do their own thing- and mom and I would go ride the rides together....we would have so much fun- just she and I.....she was my best friend. As I write that, tears well up in my eyes- now, as I am a mother and look back on my childhood, I see the sacrifice that my mom gave every-single-day of her life for us kids. I see how she never once made me or my brother feel like we were a burden or that we made her sacrifice her desires so that we could have a wonderful life.
My mom gave me the gift of prayer. From as far as I can remember- my mom and I would pray about EVERYTHING! When my mom would spend too much money- she and I would sit on the couch and pray that dad wouldn't be upset...haha- (dad- don't take that wrong- it's because of your frugality that we had the life we did....love you! :)) that was just the beginning...we prayed over my hair, over school projects, or friends, over heartaches, over needs over events...we prayed and prayed and prayed! Such a sweet memory I have of praying with my mom- that was our FIRST reaction to everything....to pray.
My mom never once treated me like I was insignificant- I ALWAYS felt like she truly valued my opinion and what I had to say. She always treated me with respect- even though she was my mother and demanded that respect from me.
So- mom- I love you- as I look back on my childhood- I cannot think of one negative thing about you...I cannot think of one thing I would have changed about my childhood. I hope that this is a tribute to you as a mother and shows you how amazing you were and still are.

Happy Mother's Day to this mommy's mommy!