Funny- but maybe only to me :)

This is a "smorgishborg" of a blog. I just have all of these things I want to write down so I am just putting them all down in one blog.

Today Parker and I were playing outside and I acted like I was crying and he said "no cryin'...stop cryin' mommy...nooooo cryin'.....boys cry!!". Haha! I loved it, have I taught him that boys cry and girls don't?? Sounds kind of backwards!

Today, Beckham FINALLY learned where his nose is! Yay!! So, I was rocking him before his nap and he was on my lap facing me and I asked him where his belly button is, and then where his nose was and he DID it and we celebrated! So, then I went to his tongue and he just started laughing and would flop his head on my chest...then pull back really fast and I would ask him where his tongue was and he would do the same thing...we went around in circles and were laughing so hard! What a blast!! He actually was playing with me and I LOVED it!

Parker has also started memorizing books. It's SO cute, because he will "read" his spider book to Beckham!

I LOVE watching Beckham walk around and play. It's SO fun when they start getting older and learning so many new things. It's amazing how Beckham is at that stage where his receptive language is soooo good!

There are many days when Blake works late and the majority of the day is spent with just me and the boys. Obviously I would LOVE for Blake to be here, but the silver lining....I get to have quality one-on-one time with my boys. Just me and them. LOVE it!

Now that Beckham is getting older and can do more stuff, it's amazing how FUN it is being a stay-at-home mom! We get to just go have fun, ALL DAY! So today, we went to a park, then to feed the ducks and have a snack by the pond, then before we went to HEB we drove the car through the carwash! Parker LOVED it...Beckham, not so much! haha! Then after naptime we jumped in the powerwheel John Deere truck and drove around. Man, this life can't get any better!

I love how Parker still wants to go get his grocery cart when we go out to get the mail.

I love getting under the blanket with the boys and the flashlight!

I love playing sword fights.

I am SO GRATEFUL that I am a mommy.....I LOVE MY JOB!

Sweet

The other day Blake and I took the boys to the doctor for their well-checks. Parker was so sweet and compliant with everything the nurse asked him to do...then the doctor came in and Parker walked up to me and put his hands up to my ears and whispered very softly "bubba first"...he wanted the doctor to look at Beckham first. It was SOOOOO cute. Loved it!!

Heaven on earth

Today- Beckham was having a complete meltdown. So, I told Parker that I needed to go rock Beckham because he was frustrated. So, I went in to Beckham's room...got his blanket, turned his loud "noise maker" fan on and we rocked...all snuggled up. It was heaven....I just looked down at him and how he was right where he wanted to be...in my arms....and he wasn't interested in going anywhere else! Ohhh....heaven. Ok, so I didn't think it could get any better until Parkerman walked in and was looking a little neady...so I asked him if he wanted to come rock with mommy and bubba. He DID! So, he went and got his blanket and crawled up in my lap on the opposite side and both of them just snuggled up in my arms...happy as could be...and I sang to them. I literally felt like my heart could not get any fuller. It's rare that I get to snuggle with BOTH of my babies at the same time where BOTH of them were ok with the fact that they were there together and I didn't want to move! I just wanted to stay there forever. It still, as I am typing about it, fills me up to the brim with LOVE!!!!!

OH, the joys that come with being a mommy!!!!!!

You must die to live....

Lately in my quiet time I have been studying about fellowshipping in the sufferings of Christ. Wow, I was not prepared for the world of awesomeness that I was about to enter into. The Lord has brought me along in a journey in order to open my eyes the past two mornings in my quiet times. So what is this beautiful picture that God has painted in my mind? Suffering....no matter what kind you experience...whether it's a tragedy that has caused you to suffer, or the simple fact that you are suffering in a miserable job, or the fact that you are suffering with a problem child...any kind of suffering is REQUIRED in order for us believers in Christ to experience the awesome POWER OF THE RESURRECTION!!! It is impossible for us to experience this beautiful GIFT unless we SUFFER! God has called us to suffer....but He doesn't end it at that....He says YES, you are going to suffer...YES, I have called you to suffer...but do you know why? I have called you to suffer because I want you to SEE the awesome resurrection power!! I want you to EXPERIENCE the phrase "when I am weak, then you are strong...my power is perfected in your weakness"....I want you to EXPERIENCE the life giving power that will rock your world- that is better than ANYTHING you could attain on this Earth.
Today- I was reminding myself of what I studied yesterday and then was lead to studying about how death to myself will equal life in Christ. As a believer I am called to die...die to my desires, die to my RIGHTS, die to my ideas for my life's purpose...DIE...and allow Christ to live in me. Well, what happens when I must die to my rights, desires and thoughts? I suffer! But what happens when I suffer??? I LIVE LIFE THROUGH CHRIST'S RESURRECTION POWER! For example- Blake leaves dirty dishes in the sink....well, my rights tell me that I should make him come clean up those dishes- I am not his maid, I am a strong woman who doesn't need to clean up after her husband. Well, because I have "died", and dead people don't have rights, I must SUFFER as I clean up his dishes....however, now it becomes not me cleaning up unfairly after my husband...it becomes me identifying with the suffering of Christ and REJOICING for it....attaining LIFE because when you suffer for doing right it pleases our LORD! 1 Peter tells us women that we are to be meek and quiet spirits and submissive to our husbands...THAT is what makes us beautiful. Meekness is defined as power under control. Now, in this world....that doesn't make sense...and we fight that a lot. God, if I don't argue MY WAY with my husband then he will always think he can walk all over me! NO...nothing that God tells us to do makes sense in the human mind's standards. (God tells us that..."My ways are not your ways") "Die to live"...."when I am weak then I am strong", "I can only bear fruit after I am dead", "I must hate my life to find it", "I must be a servant to be considered great"....obedience requires FAITH- that even though it doesn't make sense....I don't SEE why or HOW, I still must obey....knowing that God's sovereign vision sees the outcome.

So, as I move forward as a mother and wife- how does this affect me? Well, anytime during the day when I experience suffering...whether it's both my kids in bad moods screaming at me...or it's not getting a bath and feeling ugly...or whether it's something with Blake that has upset me.....it's no longer about ME....it's about identifying with Christ and HIS suffering through dying to my desires and needs, and then living in the power of the resurrection!!! However, this will be a DAILY struggle to remember....just as Peter experience victory while walking on the water to Jesus....THE IMPOSSIBLE...walking on water- he had gained victory over the very waves that threatened his life....the only reason why he had gained victory was because he was dead centered on Christ...the minute a wave hit him upside the head and bad things around him got worse...he started to look at his circumstances and then....SANK. Though I have experience "walking on water" one day...if I don't keep my eyes DEAD centered on Christ those waves of life will distract me and get me quickly focused on my circumstances and I will "sink"!

Things I love!!

Things I LOVE about my boys:

-How when Parker is driving his big truck to the park or when we are playing at the park and he sees people coming- he calls them friends. "Look, mommy!! FRIENDS!!"
-I love how when Beckham wakes up in his crib and is crying- when I walk in he holds his blanket up for me to hold with him.
-I love how Parker still wants me to go everywhere and do everything with him
-I LOOOOOOVE how at night I will go in and rock Beckham with his blanket and paci and he just snuggles up so close and doesn't wiggle and try and get down.
-I love playing in the leaves with Parker
-I love watching Beckham learn and experience new things like play-doh.
-I love how Parker talks constantly to me- he tells me that he gets to eat gum when he is older (in fact, EVERY time he sees someone chewing gum.."when I get older, I chew gum!")and he wants to hold his new BIG underwear and how he has "two more minutes" and then he will go night night.
-I love that Beckham is starting to really understand me and will do what I tell him to do and is really receptive now.
-I love how Parker wants to "help" with everything. Feeding the dogs, cooking and stirring, unloading the groceries onto the conveyor belt, putting the battery into his big truck.
-I love how Beckham points off into nowhere telling me he wants "something".
-I LOVE how Parker is a snuggle bug now...he wants to sit with me on the couch to watch movies or read books. He LOVES to hold my hand in the car or on the couch. I love how sometimes he just needs to sit with me and do nothing...just to get that mommy time. FILLS ME UP
-I love watching Beckham learn how to get up on the couch! haha...it's SOOO CUTE!
-I love how Parker gets SO excited about everything. When we get in the car...even if it was from somewhere that was NO fun, he will say "was that FUN mommy????".
-I love how no matter how MAD Beckham is, I can tickle his neck and he immediately starts DYING laughing!
-I love watching my boys play in the backyard...pushing lawn mowers, filling up the dump truck with toys, playing in the sand and water pit and with the dog bowls.
-I love how when I have been gone without the boys somewhere and come back to get them, they are SOOOO happy to see me. Man, that is the greatest feeling in the world!
-I love how my boys LOOOOOOOOOOOVE their daddy....they just LOOOVE him....both of them.
-I love sitting on the couch, arm-to-arm, with Parker drinking hot chocolate and watching a movie.
-I love how when Parker was scared in his bed the other night- he wanted to pray!!! Oh, warms my heart!
-I love how when Parker wakes up in the morning- we go get him on the couch with a pillow and blanket to watch cartoons and he says "mommy do Bible study???"....yes, baby, mommy is going to do Bible study.
-I love my baby Beckham's smile....that baby is SOOOO CUTE!!!! He melts me into a puddle every time I see him....he is SOOOO CUTE!
-I love how Beckham can be in the heat of playing something or in the heat of a screaming fit and if you say "Beckham, let's go take a bath- or Beckham do you want to go take a shower?" he will STOP and start CHARGING towards the bathroom! He LOOOOVES bath time.
-I love the way Beckham smells....even when he smells like old milk and slobber- I just love how he smells....kinda weird :)
-I love kissing my babies....those cheeks and foreheads are SOOOO perfect!!!
-I love when I pick up Parker he holds me really tight around my neck and then plays with my hair.
-I love when I am snuggling close with Beckham he pats my back.
-I love how when Beckham walks he uses his arm to go back and forth to gain momentum to go even faster! haha! Soo cute!
-I love how Parker will tell me about something and I don't understand him and he will say, "I'll show you mommy" and come pull my hand and take me to what he is talking about
-I love how when Parker is putting his underwear on he tells me that the "tag goes on my hiny"...then after he puts his clothes on by himself he RUNS to show me and is SOO excited!

-I love experiencing life with my boys....I just love it. It's hard work, and there are so many uncertainties and there are tantrums and screaming fits....but man....having two healthy boys that I get to invest in every-single-day is such a HUGE blessing. The frustrating times are pretty frustrating, but the good times are so good that it washes all of those frustrations away. Just sitting here typing out what I love about my boys makes me want to go wake them up from their naps and just hug and kiss them all over.

Hodge-podge

I feel like I have a million different blog posts I could do, so I thought I would put them all in one.

Today- I got to go to the zoo with a sweet friend from church- we had a BLAST! This was the first time in a while for Parker to go and Beckham's first time all together. Parker was so into it. We got to feed the giraffes which was the COOLEST thing of all. They usually charge $5 and you get 3 pieces of lettuce...however today they had closed the feeding due to misty cool weather. WELL, due to our sad and pathetic response the guy let us come back and feed them!!!!!! Seriously.....we got to go back for FREE and give the giraffe as many pieces of lettuce!!!!!!!!!!!! MAN, that was SO COOL! Then, we went on a carousel ride and went looking at all of the animals that we could. FUN! I loved spending that time with my boys!!!!

Can you see how EXCITED I AM....I was living in UP!!!

Tonight I had already put my boo bear to bed after a sweet time of rocking him and then Parker and I went in to the living room to watch Polar Express before he went to bed. Lately we have been enjoying our Christmas traditions so much!!! Last night after dinner I bathed the boys, got them in their pj's and then we got in the car and went looking at Christmas lights...Parker was in my lap as we SLOWLY drove around our little section. Parker was having the time of his life and you could just see the JOY on his face and could hear the JOY in his voice!!! Filled me up to the BRIM with JOY getting to have so much FUN with my boys!!!! Anyways, tonight as we watched Polar Express I was just LOVING that quiet time snuggled up next to my Parkerman......just priceless....staring at his little feet that don't reach the end of the couch...SO wonderful.

So what are my boys like now....Beckham, my sweet boo bear is 14 months old and Parker is 2 months shy of 3!!!!

Beckham- went through a SUUUUUUUPER grumpy stage that I just didn't think I was going to survive. However, I feel like he is on his way uphill in that department. I can actually stand up and walk around without him panicking and sometimes...not all of the time...I can go to the restroom without him screaming! ha! BUT, he is sooooooooooooooo STINKIN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, that little boy......he is just so cute I could eat him up!!!! He is SO CUTE even when he is wining!!! Anyways- his little face and the way he smiles and walks and laughs....I seriously could just stare at him all day long! He still only has 5 teeth and only says a few words....mama, dada, uh-oh and hi! He runs around like a wild man...he doesn't really like TV....he gets into EVERYTHING...he puts WHOLE toilet paper rolls into the toilet and thinks it's great....he loves playing chase....he loves getting into his big bubba's toddler bed....he squeals with delight when the puppies come out of their kennel into the room...he eats dog food and LOVES-HIS-BATHTIME! He's a picky eater and loves his pacifier. When life is perfect he gets two naps a day- but usually he only gets one with Parker. He's also great at helping clean up toys!

Parker- oh my sweet booger bear. Still my little baby boy. I can't believe he is almost 3- my sweet baby. I still love snuggling with him- as he likes to snuggle too!!! He is talking up a STORM....all the time all day long talking, talking talking....and if I don't respond, he just repeats louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder.....until I do :) He loves his little bubba, however, is way to rough still....he is excited about everything in life and always asks me "was that FUN, MOMMY???". Hehehe, it's soooooooooooooooooo cute!!! He LOVES driving his powerwheels and mowing with his bubble mower. He LOVES going to parks and LOVES looking at Christmas lights. He loves to "help mommy" with cooking and....well....anything by getting up on his stool and jumping right in. He is SUPER afraid of the dark and has been going through hard sleep times because of it. He loves to pray before his meals and at bed time and he loves to do Bible study with mommy. He has 4 memory verses Genesis 1:1, Genesis 1:27, Ephesians 6:1 and Psalm 119:10. He is in AWANAS Puggles (I am his teacher) and doing great. He loves to sing and listen to music and he loves to play the guitar. He also loves his Abby Boo....for a while she was sleeping in bed with him to help ease his fears. He loves having sword fights and chasing and being chased around the house.

I pray everyday for my boys- I pray that they grow in wisdom and stature and favor among God and man...I pray that God would produce righteousness and peace through my discipline and I pray that they would know, love and serve our Lord and Savior with all of their hearts!!!!! PRAISE GOD FOR THE GIFT OF RAISING MY BOYS!!!!!!

The looney house...

"Mom, Beckham is driving me CRAZZZZYYY!!!! I think I am going to have to check myself into the looney house". This is the conversation I had with my mom last night. My sweet Beckham...who has stolen my heart...is driving me CRAZY!!! As I sit here typing this I am laughing- because here is a baby that I can't help but to squeal with delight when I see him....and yet I squeal with delight when I put HIM TO BED! LOL....oh that stinky boy. I cannot go from a sitting position to a standing position without him freaking out and crawling over to my legs crying - and holding on to my legs so tight that I can't go anywhere without picking him up! haha, oh this boy. As long as I am sitting with him and either playing with him or watching him play he is happy as a CLAM and CUUUUTE CUUUUUTE CUTE, but if you cross him by leaving a room without him in on the action....whoa doggies....there is a different side of him! ha! Anyways, my mom and I are talking and she is telling me about one of my cousins who has 4 kids...4!!!....and her youngest (whose name is Beckham too by-the-way!!!) is 2 and she has to hold him all of the time too. I suddenly realized...hmmm...this is just life with kids. I need to stop whining about my little high maintenance baby- because I have 2 kids...she has 4!!!! This is just a phase...he will not scream like this forever....he will not need to be held forever....and I need to remember that when I look back on being a mom- I am really only going to remember those precious smiles, and laughs and snuggly times I have with him and not the constant crying and neediness of him. As FRUSTRATED as I get- when I force myself to sit and think about it, it really is precious that he just wants me...and it really does soften my heart that I am his place of comfort!!!! How endearing is THAT?!?! I....his mommy....am where he wants to be....in my arms is his place that he calls home and that really does make me look at it differently. Then this morning I was doing Bible study and over and over again I just kept being brought back to how "giving thanks" is God's prescription for so much in this world. When I am at my looney level with Beckham- I need to stop and give thanks....give thanks that I have two healthy boys...I have a home to sleep in and be comfortable in...I have A GOD that I can trust my life to....and the list gets longer and longer and eventually I can't help but PRAISE GOD and not feel any frustration with anything!!!

Anyways- I adore my boo bear so so much. I would give my life for him- he is my little sunshine....but sometimes....a LOT of times....he makes me CRAAAAAZY....but now, I have a plan...I have the key to let myself out of the looney house and lock it up for life. I am going to be thankful...thankful for anything and everything I can think of- and I am going to trust that this is just a season....I will survive!!! (totally have that song in my head now!)

Love you Boo Bear!!