Oh Lord My God....when I in Awesome Wonder...

Yesterday, Parker and Beckham were out playing in the rain. At one point lightening started to light up the sky and then the thunder would soon follow. It was so amazing. Parker and Beckham would get so scared and come running to me. At one point I had Beckham in my lap and Parker next to me snuggled up under my arm. I was explaining to them what lightening was and how thunder was just the sound of lightening and how OUR God could silence the thunder in a small hush or lift a finger and all of this would stop...well...I didn't realize I would get a lesson too. As we sat together and watched the rain and listened to the huge cracks of thunder I started truly thinking about how big MY God is. Lightening and thunder can be so intimidating and yet MY God is soo much bigger!! I then started singing "How Great Thou Art"....Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds thy hands have made. I see the stars, I hear the ROLLING THUNDER, thy power throughout, the universe displayed"....then sings my soul, my savior God to thee...how great thou art, how GREAT thou art!!!! While singing those incredible life changing lyrics I could hear the thunder rolling in the background and the rain pouring down...it was magical. It was a beautiful moment I had with the Lord...talking to Him, singing to Him...worshiping... all with my boys right there in my arms. Thank you Lord!

Come watch me!!!

So lately, Parker has been asking me to come watch him "mow". Tonight, I was finishing up on dishes while he and Beckham and daddy were out mowing. Parker comes charging into the house wearing his safety glasses like daddy and says, "mommy, do you want to come watch me mow?", I said "of COURSE" and out we went. We went out into the garage where he told me to grab my blue lawn chair and to sit "right there" and maybe I should even go put safety glasses on like him. So I did and as I sat down he immediately ran out onto the lawn pushing his lawnmower and checking over at me to make sure I was watching how cool he was. The joy that welled up in my heart was overflowing. He wants me to watch him....he wants me to oogle over him and the great thing about it is, is that I want nothing more than to oogle over my boys too!! We are a perfect match! I love being a mommy!!!

So sweet....

Today, I got one of those RARE moments where Parker and Beckham were playing in Beckham's room with the door shut. I took this beautiful opportunity to run around the house and clean as much as I could since cleaning without children either trying to drink the household cleaner or put their face in the toilet you are cleaning or stepping on your vacuum cleaner power cord or unplugging the vacuum at that is very very very rare! So, as I am cleaning I can hear over the baby monitor Parker trying to entertain Beckham. At one point Parker told Beckham he would be right back because he had an idea of something fun....he ran into the living room, opened the closet grabbed something excitedly and ran back into the room, slammed the door and happily showed "bubba" what he found. Smile was all that I could do...it was so precious. Then at one point I could hear Parker tell Beckham "I'll be right back, Bubba, I'm gonna go get mommy"....then Beckham would start to cry, so Parker would stay and say "I'm going to be right back...I'm going to go get mommy and I'll be right back", then Beckham would cry and he would say the same thing over and over again. It was PRECIOUS. Parker could see that Beckham wanted and needed him and he fell right into a loving caring roll! Then eventually Parker decided just to yell at the top of his lungs "Mommy!!!!!!! Bubba wants you!!!!!". Hahaha....I love those boys. I LOVE THOSE BOYS!!!!!!!!

So so grateful....

As I am getting ready for bed, I usually glance at the video monitor that is mounted in Parker's room. I see him so peacefully sleeping and my heart just overflows. It overflows with joy and gratefulness that I am in the "drudges" of child raising. This is probably the hardest time for a mother physically...the years where PHYSICALLY we carry our children and PHYSICALLY we take care of them along with the emotional side of making sure we are teaching, teaching, correcting, correcting, training, training this blank slate into a godly man of God. A lot of times in this stage of child raising, mothers wish their children would hurry up and grow up so that it's not-so-hard anymore. However, what ends up happening is we wish away and LOSE some of the most precious, wonderful, sweet, HAPPY times in our lives. The time in our life where our children truly think we do know everything. The time in our life where we are super exciting even when we know we really are not! The time in our life when all these precious children want is to be with and play with and snuggle with their mommies and daddies. The time in our life when hugs and kisses and "I love you's" are welcomed with sweet giggles and glowing faces. The time in our life when no matter how stupid we may look, our children think we are hilariously funny. The time in our life that brings some of the most beautiful joy to a parent's heart.
The other day I was thinking about my stage in life- I was thinking about it as if it had already passed and I was looking back on it. It made me fall to my knees in gratefulness that it has not already passed- that I am still smack dab in the middle of it....loving these little innocent baby boys that bring so much overflowing joy to my life.
The other day I was giving Parker horsey rides on my back and in order to avoid falling off he wrapped his arms tightly around my neck...then he said "I love you, mommy". Just writing this makes tears well up in my eyes. How could we wish these moments away? How could we not respond to our babies asking us to "play with me, mommy!!"? How could our hearts not overflow with joy when these precious children want to be around us and love just "being" with us. It's heaven! I love my boys so so so much....God, you blessed me with them...they are a gift straight from you-and I am so so grateful!!

My boo

My little boo bear is now a little over 17 months. He's so SO cute!! What he's up to....

-He still doesn't really have any words...just mama, dada and night night and uh oh

-He now knows he can only have his paci when he's in bed so when it's time to get out of bed he either points to his paci jar with his paci or he will take it out and push it into a corner of his crib. It's hilarious!!

-He waves at cars driving by when we are playing on the driveway.

-He still lets me rock him at night

-He walks at a running pace all the time

-The minute I start cooking dinner, Beckham is screaming at my feet, by 5pm he is dying for dinner!!

-He still goes to bed around 7, and sleeps 12-13 hours.

-He can feed himself oatmeal...not well, but he can do it!

-He wuuuuuvs is brown blanket

I love him so SO much! He is so funny and precious and sweet....I am so blest to be his mommy!!!

Missin you!!

Tonight at AWANA Parker left the room to go to music. Normally I go too, but tonight I had to stay in our room to get the craft ready. When the kids came back in from music, Parker ran up to me wrapping his arms around me and yelling "mommy!!!!!! I missed you!!!". That was the first time he had said that and man did it make my heart soar!!!! I missed you too my sweet parkerman!!! I missed you MORE!! :)

Courageous

So, Blake and I watched the Christian movie, Courageous. If you haven't seen it and plan on seeing it stop reading right here, because I am about to talk about it :) Anyways, in the movie this little girl dies and you watch the mourning process of the parents. I found myself in the "ugly cry" so many times because you can't even imagine wanting so desperately to hug or touch your child and not being able to. It gave me another one of those "cherish the moment" times. Tonight I was brushing Parker's teeth and I just stopped and hugged his neck so tight kissing him all over. I-HAVE-MY-CHILDREN....I can touch them and hold them and play with them and LOVE them. So many parents don't have their children due to death and it just makes all of the insignificant things in this world fade away because all that matters is that we are alive with each other!

Thank you Father that TODAY, I have my children. And Lord willing tomorrow too. THANK YOU that you give me these moments to remind me to CHERISH every-single-minute of every-single-day!!!! Frustrating moments and all.