Lately, I have implemented a family tradition that my family did when I was growing up. We all hold hands to pray before a meal and then when "amen" is said we all squeeze each other's hands 3 times to represent "I love you". Well, the boys just LOVE this. Right now as we are in the "training" stage, we will say "I-love-you" as we squeeze, with the hopes that one day we can just squeeze 3 times and we will know. Well I have two stories that make me smile with this tradition. Today, I took the boys to the circus with some friends...well, we went to the pre-show and it was packed and loud down on the floor with lots of people. So I had to carry Beckham and hold Parker's hand. As we were walking around, I would squeeze Parker's hand 3 times...he would squeeze my hand 3 times...he knew...I was telling him I loved him in a loud and crowded room where it might not be easy to express verbally. SO special!!!!
Then, tonight as I was putting Beckham to bed and I was rocking him, I was holding his hand and I squeezed his hand 3 times saying "I-loooove-YOU"...then Beckham would squeeze my hand 3 times saying "duh, duh duh!"....it was soooo special! I love it, because when you can express love without using words or even eye contact, it's powerful!
In Dee Forrest****** I am a mommy to four wonderful little boys. I love my role and want to remember every little detail of the days that I get to spend with them as a stay-at-home mommy. I am a homeschooling momma with a husband who is working full time along with full time seminary. This blog is to help me work through the daily, but mainly, it's to help me remember precious little moments that I never want to forget and cherish forever!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Dear Parkerman...
Dear my little love bug:
Today, we had a rough day, didn't we? You seemed to not like the fact that Gigi came over and was taking my attention. I figured that out when you said "mommy, can you stop talking to gigi??". You also seemed to be a little on the rebellious side; not really doing anything I would ask you to do. I know that you must have been tired from no nap too, and that could have played a big part in why you decided to HIT Beckham so hard on the head with your hot wheel car. However, tonight, when I got to rock you to sleep- as I was looking down at you- my heart overflowed. You are still my little baby...I can still see your little face on my chest when you were but a few weeks old. Your chubby cheeks and how your face is shaped. I loved holding you so close and snuggling with you and singing to you. It truly made my hurting heart from having to be the "disciplinarian mommy" feel so full of joy again. Tonight before I came back here to type this note, I went in to check on you...your little feet were sticking out from the bottom of your blanket...so small, so preciously perfect. I know days like this are hard on you too- I know it's no fun when mommy has to be "tough", but I know that because we love each other so much in our hearts- days like this will be a distant memory when we wake up tomorrow. I feel so blessed to be yours and bubba's mommy. I love you more than you will ever ever EVER know.
Love,
Mommy
Today, we had a rough day, didn't we? You seemed to not like the fact that Gigi came over and was taking my attention. I figured that out when you said "mommy, can you stop talking to gigi??". You also seemed to be a little on the rebellious side; not really doing anything I would ask you to do. I know that you must have been tired from no nap too, and that could have played a big part in why you decided to HIT Beckham so hard on the head with your hot wheel car. However, tonight, when I got to rock you to sleep- as I was looking down at you- my heart overflowed. You are still my little baby...I can still see your little face on my chest when you were but a few weeks old. Your chubby cheeks and how your face is shaped. I loved holding you so close and snuggling with you and singing to you. It truly made my hurting heart from having to be the "disciplinarian mommy" feel so full of joy again. Tonight before I came back here to type this note, I went in to check on you...your little feet were sticking out from the bottom of your blanket...so small, so preciously perfect. I know days like this are hard on you too- I know it's no fun when mommy has to be "tough", but I know that because we love each other so much in our hearts- days like this will be a distant memory when we wake up tomorrow. I feel so blessed to be yours and bubba's mommy. I love you more than you will ever ever EVER know.
Love,
Mommy
Boo-isms...
Well, my little Beckham who is now 21 months is FINALLY starting to say words...BARELY :) Here are some of his definite words. He has a lot of "was that what I thought it was??" words that I'm not sure on, but these we can typically count on.
Momma
Dadda
Uh-oh
Whoah!!!!
WOW!!!!
Bubba (Parker's nick name)
Tractor (Trah-tuh)
Water
Cracker
Bubbles (buh-buh's) This word typically follows "WHOOOOOAH!!!" :)
bye-bye
night night (dight dight)
Hot (HA!)
No (Oh!)
Thank you (tae-too)
Sancho (I think!) (ta-toe!)
Love you boo!
Momma
Dadda
Uh-oh
Whoah!!!!
WOW!!!!
Bubba (Parker's nick name)
Tractor (Trah-tuh)
Water
Cracker
Bubbles (buh-buh's) This word typically follows "WHOOOOOAH!!!" :)
bye-bye
night night (dight dight)
Hot (HA!)
No (Oh!)
Thank you (tae-too)
Sancho (I think!) (ta-toe!)
Love you boo!
My little boo
I am so much enjoying my little Beckham bear. I love how when I tickle him his giggle turns into this full blown laugh that is intoxicating. I love how excited he gets about everything now and says "whoooooooa" or "wooooooooow" about everything...even if he has no idea if it's truly cool! I love how when I was rocking him tonight for bed, he just melts into my arms and molds into me- his head laying in the crook of my arm and I got to just put my face right up next to his and just stare at him...his little cheeks, his little nose, his precious little crooked smile...he's my baby. I got to pray over him and pray that he will be a great man of God and that he would serve the Lord with all his heart, soul and mind. It was a special night...with a special boy...whom I adore.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Update on my babies...
I always know when it's time to blog, because I start to get a burden on my heart...sounds cheesy I know...but I start feeling a little bit of panic that I am letting too many precious things about my lovies go by and will forget them before I write them down. Well, it's 11:07pm....definitely bed time and as I crawled into bed all cozied up, my eyes popped open and I had to get out of bed to let my heart overflow onto paper. So here we are...
This season, this period of my motherhood is quite exhausting. I find myself feeling the "servant-hood" of motherhood more and more every day. From the moment my boys' feet hit the ground they are asking for juice, food, a toy, help, comfort, more, and the list goes on. I'm sure it might be a little easier if they calmly and politely with full and complete patience asked for what they wanted, but instead I find myself be either cried at or ordered....'JUICE!!!!!!!'. The exhausting part is the constant training, training, training...."Parker, that is not how you ask nicely, please repeat that in a nice way"...."Beckham, it's ok, you don't have to scream and cry because you can't reach your cup, just say 'help, momma'", etc etc. However, the other day I was sitting on the driveway, relishing in watching my precious boys play, and I was reminded...this is motherhood...this is what God has called me to and has BLESSED me with...there is never going to be a time when I sit back and say...this is easy stuff...piece of cake...nope, it's constant...training and shepherding my children's' hearts towards our Almighty God. It IS service...it IS work...it IS my ministry!! How honored am I to get to be the missionary to my OWN kids...to two little boys that my heart skips a beat everytime I see them...I get to be PART of God's hand in bringing them to HIM!
So, what do I do from here? I remember that spending time with the Lord is TOP of my list!!!!! I must be filled with the Spirit...in complete fellowship...so that when the frustrations of motherhood hit, my mind and attitude are FIXED on Christ so that my response to the little sin nature in my children is LOVE and CHRIST instead of MY sin nature fighting back. I thank my God for every hard moment, because He is using that to refine me, molding me to be more like Christ. I focus on Christ and moving forward instead of my mistakes and mess ups...those are in the past..leave them there!
Thank you Father...thank you that you give me so many teachable moments to just grow in the knowledge of truth! Thank you that you love me enough to continue to make me into the woman you want me to be....constantly being so faithful to me, though my faithfulness does not match.
SO, what are my precious babies up to these days?
Parker and Beckham are now starting to play together and LOVE-EACH-OTHER. Parker has gotten to be such a PRECIOUS big brother...constantly caring for Beckham and making sure he's happy and playing with him. It's beautiful. NOT to say, they don't have their terrible moments, where Parker pushes Beckham down and then stands on top of him, laughing while poor Beckham is screaming....ugh! :)
Beckham and I have two secret "languages". We make these specific babble noises while using our hands like we are having a real conversation. We count in this language too and it's quite entertaining.
Beckham is sloooowly starting to talk. We had him evaluated by ECI two months ago and he did FABULOUS in ever area except for expressive language. He didn't qualify for therapy though, so we are just 'naming' everything and encouraging language. It's slowing starting to work. Today, he was pushing his bubble mower and when the bubbles came out he would shout..."whoooooooa, bubba's!!!!!" :)
Parker, my sweet booger bear, talks non-stop. Literally...non-stop...if he's up and awake...he-is-talking! It's so fun, though, because now I truly feel like we have a relationship. Sometimes when I put him to bed he will ask if we can talk, so I will lay next to him and we will, face-to-face, just talk. Some of my FAVORITE times.
Beckham....my lovie bear boo...oh, that boy, I love him so much...he is such a mess...but lately he has been extra lovey! He will rub his hands over my hair and will just randomly come up and hug me and kiss me....thrills my heart. He still loves to be rocked and night, which, well, I'm in heaven over.
They both LOVE the dogs...especially when we take the dogs in the car with us. They both want to hold one. So cute, because they get so excited!
Beckham gets the "excited mouth open" look now. LOVE that!
Parker has the official big brother power over Beckham. All Parker has to do is excitedly ask Beckham if he wants to do something and Beckham will ALWAYS say yes...even if I had just asked him the same thing a minute before and he told me no! ha!
I LOVE watching them on the powerwheel together. They both will get excited about something and just look at each other and giggle and squeal. It's SO cute how much they love each other.
Ok...I know there is more, but I am now officially exhausted! Nighty night!
This season, this period of my motherhood is quite exhausting. I find myself feeling the "servant-hood" of motherhood more and more every day. From the moment my boys' feet hit the ground they are asking for juice, food, a toy, help, comfort, more, and the list goes on. I'm sure it might be a little easier if they calmly and politely with full and complete patience asked for what they wanted, but instead I find myself be either cried at or ordered....'JUICE!!!!!!!'. The exhausting part is the constant training, training, training...."Parker, that is not how you ask nicely, please repeat that in a nice way"...."Beckham, it's ok, you don't have to scream and cry because you can't reach your cup, just say 'help, momma'", etc etc. However, the other day I was sitting on the driveway, relishing in watching my precious boys play, and I was reminded...this is motherhood...this is what God has called me to and has BLESSED me with...there is never going to be a time when I sit back and say...this is easy stuff...piece of cake...nope, it's constant...training and shepherding my children's' hearts towards our Almighty God. It IS service...it IS work...it IS my ministry!! How honored am I to get to be the missionary to my OWN kids...to two little boys that my heart skips a beat everytime I see them...I get to be PART of God's hand in bringing them to HIM!
So, what do I do from here? I remember that spending time with the Lord is TOP of my list!!!!! I must be filled with the Spirit...in complete fellowship...so that when the frustrations of motherhood hit, my mind and attitude are FIXED on Christ so that my response to the little sin nature in my children is LOVE and CHRIST instead of MY sin nature fighting back. I thank my God for every hard moment, because He is using that to refine me, molding me to be more like Christ. I focus on Christ and moving forward instead of my mistakes and mess ups...those are in the past..leave them there!
Thank you Father...thank you that you give me so many teachable moments to just grow in the knowledge of truth! Thank you that you love me enough to continue to make me into the woman you want me to be....constantly being so faithful to me, though my faithfulness does not match.
SO, what are my precious babies up to these days?
Parker and Beckham are now starting to play together and LOVE-EACH-OTHER. Parker has gotten to be such a PRECIOUS big brother...constantly caring for Beckham and making sure he's happy and playing with him. It's beautiful. NOT to say, they don't have their terrible moments, where Parker pushes Beckham down and then stands on top of him, laughing while poor Beckham is screaming....ugh! :)
Beckham and I have two secret "languages". We make these specific babble noises while using our hands like we are having a real conversation. We count in this language too and it's quite entertaining.
Beckham is sloooowly starting to talk. We had him evaluated by ECI two months ago and he did FABULOUS in ever area except for expressive language. He didn't qualify for therapy though, so we are just 'naming' everything and encouraging language. It's slowing starting to work. Today, he was pushing his bubble mower and when the bubbles came out he would shout..."whoooooooa, bubba's!!!!!" :)
Parker, my sweet booger bear, talks non-stop. Literally...non-stop...if he's up and awake...he-is-talking! It's so fun, though, because now I truly feel like we have a relationship. Sometimes when I put him to bed he will ask if we can talk, so I will lay next to him and we will, face-to-face, just talk. Some of my FAVORITE times.
Beckham....my lovie bear boo...oh, that boy, I love him so much...he is such a mess...but lately he has been extra lovey! He will rub his hands over my hair and will just randomly come up and hug me and kiss me....thrills my heart. He still loves to be rocked and night, which, well, I'm in heaven over.
They both LOVE the dogs...especially when we take the dogs in the car with us. They both want to hold one. So cute, because they get so excited!
Beckham gets the "excited mouth open" look now. LOVE that!
Parker has the official big brother power over Beckham. All Parker has to do is excitedly ask Beckham if he wants to do something and Beckham will ALWAYS say yes...even if I had just asked him the same thing a minute before and he told me no! ha!
I LOVE watching them on the powerwheel together. They both will get excited about something and just look at each other and giggle and squeal. It's SO cute how much they love each other.
Ok...I know there is more, but I am now officially exhausted! Nighty night!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
He is just SO CUTE!!!!
That is constantly what I think about when I stare at Beckham. "He is just SO CUTE!!!". That little boo bear of mine has just stolen my heart! Tonight I was rocking him to sleep...I just LOVE that he wants me to rock him every single time he has to go night-night. I just LOVE that!!! Anyways, lately when I stand up after rocking him he has started to get fretful about going to bed...so I have been talking to him telling him that he's not going to cry, that he is just going to lay in his bed and go night night and that I will see him in the morning. I will tell him that I love him and he will nod his head (hehe...LOVE IT!), then I will tell him to have sweet dreams and he will nod his head :) :) :), and I will tell him that I will see him in the morning....annnnnd he will nod his head :), then my favorite part is when he starts to wave bye bye to me!!!!!!!! OH, my goodness....to have this sweet baby scooped up in my arms...face to face kissing him all over the face and then having him wave bye bye with his precious tiny little perfect hand....it makes me want to just keep holding him and loving on him! He is just SO CUTE!!!!!!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
My point is...this will pass...
VBS week is here at church and tonight, Blake worked later so I had to take the boys with me. Well, they do not enjoy church AT-ALL! They start SCREAMING AND CRYING when I drop them off in their classes...Parker 3.5 and Beckham 20 months. Well, talk about my heart being ripped out of my chest...everytime I have to sit there and listen to them scream for me, I pray and pray "God, please let them calm down"...please please do something! Well, for whatever reason, God has chosen to remain silent on this issue. He is sovereign...I trust Him...I have no idea why He has chosen to not calm my children at church (Parker has been doing this his whole little life in the nursery at the SAME CHURCH), but I trust that He hears me and my heart ache over it. Anyways...I was standing in a side hall tonight...just in anguish over what to do when a dear friend walked up to me...I gave her a quick "why I'm here" speech and she proceeded to tell me about how her granddaughter whom she helped raise just graduated from high school. This granddaughter who used to cling to her legs crying her eyes out for her not to leave her was walking across the stage to receive the diploma that would allow her to move off and go away to college. My friend told me how she looked at that little girl and wished that she could hold on to HER legs now and keep her home. Well, that was it...I started boo-hoo-ing!! As she was boo-hoo-ing with me, she said...so you see? This WILL pass and you will be holding on to their legs when they are moving away. I am sitting here typing this blog hardly able to see with tears welling up in my eyes and pouring all over again. She was right...my precious little boys, whom my heart sings when I see them, will one day no longer need the comfort of my touch, or the comfort of my arms or the comfort of my voice. They will one day not look at me with dreamy eyes nor long for me to play with them and hold them and rock them. One day...this phase will pass...
It is so easy to wish difficult phases away...constantly looking across the fence to the greener side...but what we miss are the NOW moments we have with them. What are the now moments that are sweet and precious? Well, my boys think being with me is the best most comforting thing in their little world. They want to be with me every waking moment...yes...even when that means waking me at 6:30 and following me to the restroom and to this room and that room. I am in a very physically draining point of my life...but oh...if I just stop for a minute and look at my life as if I am looking back...it is a blissful, fulfilling, JOY-filled time of my life!!! My boys think EVERYTHING is exciting! One of Parker's highlights of the day is going to see "if the swimming pool is open" and then watching his face LIGHT UP with joy when he sees it is. When I see Beckham open his mouth in excitement and his eyes light up with joy when I ask him if he wants to watch bulldozers on the iPad. When Parker is SO HAPPY and excited about just driving his truck or riding his bike. "Mommy, how about I ride my bike and then I can drive my big truck"..."do you want to do that, mommy???"...."Yes, baby...I would love that!"....."OK mommy!!!!". It is so sweet and so innocent. They love life. How when I gave Parker a new tube of toothe paste and he said with such a sweetly GENUINE voice "thank you mommy!!!!!!!"....how they both get so excited just to push the "water button" on the water cooler to fill up their sippy cups. How Beckham points to the rocking chair for me to rock him before he goes to sleep...EVERY TIME!!! This is heaven...is it hard and physically and mentally exhausting??? ABSOLUTELY....are there days that I gripe and complain??? ABSOLUTELY.....but I feel like tonight...when my friend came and talked to me...moments like that are little gifts from God, where he catches my attention and says "Cathy, do see what you have?" "You have these boys at such a beautiful time in life...so tender and sweet...you HAVE them....ENJOY them...CHERISH them...because you see? This will pass....."
It is so easy to wish difficult phases away...constantly looking across the fence to the greener side...but what we miss are the NOW moments we have with them. What are the now moments that are sweet and precious? Well, my boys think being with me is the best most comforting thing in their little world. They want to be with me every waking moment...yes...even when that means waking me at 6:30 and following me to the restroom and to this room and that room. I am in a very physically draining point of my life...but oh...if I just stop for a minute and look at my life as if I am looking back...it is a blissful, fulfilling, JOY-filled time of my life!!! My boys think EVERYTHING is exciting! One of Parker's highlights of the day is going to see "if the swimming pool is open" and then watching his face LIGHT UP with joy when he sees it is. When I see Beckham open his mouth in excitement and his eyes light up with joy when I ask him if he wants to watch bulldozers on the iPad. When Parker is SO HAPPY and excited about just driving his truck or riding his bike. "Mommy, how about I ride my bike and then I can drive my big truck"..."do you want to do that, mommy???"...."Yes, baby...I would love that!"....."OK mommy!!!!". It is so sweet and so innocent. They love life. How when I gave Parker a new tube of toothe paste and he said with such a sweetly GENUINE voice "thank you mommy!!!!!!!"....how they both get so excited just to push the "water button" on the water cooler to fill up their sippy cups. How Beckham points to the rocking chair for me to rock him before he goes to sleep...EVERY TIME!!! This is heaven...is it hard and physically and mentally exhausting??? ABSOLUTELY....are there days that I gripe and complain??? ABSOLUTELY.....but I feel like tonight...when my friend came and talked to me...moments like that are little gifts from God, where he catches my attention and says "Cathy, do see what you have?" "You have these boys at such a beautiful time in life...so tender and sweet...you HAVE them....ENJOY them...CHERISH them...because you see? This will pass....."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)