He loves his daddy....

Both of my boys at about 21 months grew a huge infatuation with their daddy.  They have always LOOOOOOVED their daddy, but at this age they begin to want him to do everything...to put them to bed to hold them all the time to do everything.  So tonight, Blake wasn't home, and I was putting Beckham to bed..he wanted dadda....so I handed him a picture of Blake, and he snuggled with his dadda in bed and went to sleep.  SOOOO precious, my little boo. 

My wittle boo bear

He's 22 months.  My little boo.  Today, he was playing in the playroom and I laid down on the couch next to where he was playing and pretended like I was sleeping.  He walked over and after I had to coax him to pat pat mommy instead of hit mommy, he caught on!  He started rubbing my back, the way I rub his when he is going to sleep.  Then, he went and put a blanket over me and started rubbing my back again.  It was so SO precious!!!  I love that my little boo knows how to be caring and sweet with me. 

3 squeeze "love you"

Lately, I have implemented a family tradition that my family did when I was growing up.  We all hold hands to pray before a meal and then when "amen" is said we all squeeze each other's hands 3 times to represent "I love you".  Well, the boys just LOVE this.  Right now as we are in the "training" stage, we will say "I-love-you" as we squeeze, with the hopes that one day we can just squeeze 3 times and we will know.  Well I have two stories that make me smile with this tradition.  Today, I took the boys to the circus with some friends...well, we went to the pre-show and it was packed and loud down on the floor with lots of people.  So I had to carry Beckham and hold Parker's hand.  As we were walking around, I would squeeze Parker's hand 3 times...he would squeeze my hand 3 times...he knew...I was telling him I loved him in a loud and crowded room where it might not be easy to express verbally.  SO special!!!!

Then, tonight as I was putting Beckham to bed and I was rocking him, I was holding his hand and I squeezed his hand 3 times saying "I-loooove-YOU"...then Beckham would squeeze my hand 3 times saying "duh, duh duh!"....it was soooo special!  I love it, because when you can express love without using words or even eye contact, it's powerful! 

Dear Parkerman...

Dear my little love bug:

Today, we had a rough day, didn't we?  You seemed to not like the fact that Gigi came over and was taking my attention.  I figured that out when you said "mommy, can you stop talking to gigi??".  You also seemed to be a little on the rebellious side; not really doing anything I would ask you to do.  I know that you must have been tired from no nap too, and that could have played a big part in why you decided to HIT Beckham so hard on the head with your hot wheel car.  However, tonight, when I got to rock you to sleep- as I was looking down at you- my heart overflowed.  You are still my little baby...I can still see your little face on my chest when you were but a few weeks old.  Your chubby cheeks and how your face is shaped.  I loved holding you so close and snuggling with you and singing to you.  It truly made my hurting heart from having to be the "disciplinarian mommy" feel so full of joy again.  Tonight before I came back here to type this note, I went in to check on you...your little feet were sticking out from the bottom of your blanket...so small, so preciously perfect.  I know days like this are hard on you too- I know it's no fun when mommy has to be "tough", but I know that because we love each other so much in our hearts- days like this will be a distant memory when we wake up tomorrow.  I feel so blessed to be yours and bubba's mommy.  I love you more than you will ever ever EVER know.

Love,
Mommy

Boo-isms...

Well, my little Beckham who is now 21 months is FINALLY starting to say words...BARELY :)  Here are some of his definite words.  He has a lot of "was that what I thought it was??" words that I'm not sure on, but these we can typically count on. 

Momma
Dadda
Uh-oh
Whoah!!!!
WOW!!!!
Bubba (Parker's nick name)
Tractor (Trah-tuh)
Water
Cracker
Bubbles (buh-buh's)  This word typically follows "WHOOOOOAH!!!"  :)
bye-bye
night night (dight dight)
Hot (HA!)
No (Oh!)
Thank you (tae-too)
Sancho (I think!)  (ta-toe!)

Love you boo!

My little boo

I am so much enjoying my little Beckham bear.  I love how when I tickle him his giggle turns into this full blown laugh that is intoxicating.  I love how excited he gets about everything now and says "whoooooooa" or "wooooooooow" about everything...even if he has no idea if it's truly cool!  I love how when I was rocking him tonight for bed, he just melts into my arms and molds into me- his head laying in the crook of my arm and I got to just put my face right up next to his and just stare at him...his little cheeks, his little nose, his precious little crooked smile...he's my baby.  I got to pray over him and pray that he will be a great man of God and that he would serve the Lord with all his heart, soul and mind.  It was a special night...with a special boy...whom I adore.

Update on my babies...

I always know when it's time to blog, because I start to get a burden on my heart...sounds cheesy I know...but I start feeling a little bit of panic that I am letting too many precious things about my lovies go by and will forget them before I write them down.  Well, it's 11:07pm....definitely bed time and as I crawled into bed all cozied up, my eyes popped open and I had to get out of bed to let my heart overflow onto paper.  So here we are...

This season, this period of my motherhood is quite exhausting.  I find myself feeling the "servant-hood" of motherhood more and more every day.  From the moment my boys' feet hit the ground they are asking for juice, food, a toy, help, comfort, more, and the list goes on.  I'm sure it might be a little easier if they calmly and politely with full and complete patience asked for what they wanted, but instead I find myself be either cried at or ordered....'JUICE!!!!!!!'.  The exhausting part is the constant training, training, training...."Parker, that is not how you ask nicely, please repeat that in a nice way"...."Beckham, it's ok, you don't have to scream and cry because you can't reach your cup, just say 'help, momma'", etc etc.  However, the other day I was sitting on the driveway, relishing in watching my precious boys play, and I was reminded...this is motherhood...this is what God has called me to and has BLESSED me with...there is never going to be a time when I sit back and say...this is easy stuff...piece of cake...nope, it's constant...training and shepherding my children's' hearts towards our Almighty God.   It IS service...it IS work...it IS my ministry!!  How honored am I to get to be the missionary to my OWN kids...to two little boys that my heart skips a beat everytime I see them...I get to be PART of God's hand in bringing them to HIM! 

So, what do I do from here?  I remember that spending time with the Lord is TOP of my list!!!!!  I must be filled with the Spirit...in complete fellowship...so that when the frustrations of motherhood hit, my mind and attitude are FIXED on Christ so that my response to the little sin nature in my children is LOVE and CHRIST instead of MY sin nature fighting back.  I thank my God for every hard moment, because He is using that to refine me, molding me to be more like Christ.  I focus on Christ and moving forward instead of my mistakes and mess ups...those are in the past..leave them there! 

Thank you Father...thank you that you give me so many teachable moments to just grow in the knowledge of truth!  Thank you that you love me enough to continue to make me into the woman you want me to be....constantly being so faithful to me, though my faithfulness does not match.


SO, what are my precious babies up to these days?

Parker and Beckham are now starting to play together and LOVE-EACH-OTHER.  Parker has gotten to be such a PRECIOUS big brother...constantly caring for Beckham and making sure he's happy and playing with him.  It's beautiful.  NOT to say, they don't have their terrible moments, where Parker pushes Beckham down and then stands on top of him, laughing while poor Beckham is screaming....ugh!  :)

Beckham and I have two secret "languages".  We make these specific babble noises while using our hands like we are having a real conversation.  We count in this language too and it's quite entertaining.

Beckham is sloooowly starting to talk.  We had him evaluated by ECI two months ago and he did FABULOUS in ever area except for expressive language.  He didn't qualify for therapy though, so we are just 'naming' everything and encouraging language.  It's slowing starting to work.  Today, he was pushing his bubble mower and when the bubbles came out he would shout..."whoooooooa, bubba's!!!!!"  :)

Parker, my sweet booger bear, talks non-stop.  Literally...non-stop...if he's up and awake...he-is-talking!  It's so fun, though, because now I truly feel like we have a relationship.  Sometimes when I put him to bed he will ask if we can talk, so I will lay next to him and we will, face-to-face, just talk.  Some of my FAVORITE times.

Beckham....my lovie bear boo...oh, that boy, I love him so much...he is such a mess...but lately he has been extra lovey!  He will rub his hands over my hair and will just randomly come up and hug me and kiss me....thrills my heart.  He still loves to be rocked and night, which, well, I'm in heaven over.

They both LOVE the dogs...especially when we take the dogs in the car with us.  They both want to hold one.  So cute, because they get so excited!

Beckham gets the "excited mouth open" look now.  LOVE that!

Parker has the official big brother power over Beckham.  All Parker has to do is excitedly ask Beckham if he wants to do something and Beckham will ALWAYS say yes...even if I had just asked him the same thing a minute before and he told me no!  ha!

I LOVE watching them on the powerwheel together.  They both will get excited about something and just look at each other and giggle and squeal.  It's SO cute how much they love each other.

Ok...I know there is more, but I am now officially exhausted!  Nighty night!