Tonight- on our way home from Galveston I would periodically gaze in the rear view mirror to see what my little man was doing in his car seat. For the first 45 minutes I would see him staring out the window with his monkey blanket snug in his arms and his eye lids looking as though they could drift off. However, the last rear view mirror check, I saw my sweet sunshine gazing at ME! So because he brings so much joy to my heart- my first reaction was to smile sweetly at him. He immediately smiled back at me....well, needless to say, I was glad there weren't a lot of people driving on those back roads, because I was HOOKED! I would look away and then JERK my eyes back to look at him...he laughed so hard he got the hick-ups....I in return laughed and laughed....then he would laugh and laugh- we spent the next few minutes just laughing with each other! The thoughts were running through my mind that it was so precious that all I had to do was blink weird and Parker would laugh...to him, I am one of the more funnier people in his world! (Daddy is THE most funny of course). How easy it is to make him laugh and because his laugh is SO contagious I get to laugh...HARD! Once we got home it was time for my love to go to bed so we went in his room and he let me have another rare moment of rocking him. He laid in the crook of my arm and we just stared at each other- dead in the eye. We had a few more moments of laughter and then we were quiet...just being with each other...enjoying each other. Tomorrow, I go get to find out what my baby #2 is going to be...girl, boy, girl, boy??? I am SO excited! However, I can't help but begin to project what life will be like once I am a mom to not just Parker. As I sit here typing those words, tears are welling up in my eyes...I can't just give HIM all of me anymore...how can I possibly love another baby as much as my little Parkerman...what will this life be like? Ugh...it can be such an emotional roller-coaster, but I know that several things are true....1. I serve a sovereign God who decided it was time for me to conceive...2. I love my little man with all of my heart and nothing could change that...3. I will more than likely fall just as much in love with baby #2 as my sweet baby #1 and will love having my heart expand to include my son or daughter!
So, tonight- as I head off to my bed, I will make a point to not get caught up in what is going to happen in 4 months...instead, I will cherish my moments of laughter with my only child.
Laughing....so good for the soul!
In Dee Forrest****** I am a mommy to four wonderful little boys. I love my role and want to remember every little detail of the days that I get to spend with them as a stay-at-home mommy. I am a homeschooling momma with a husband who is working full time along with full time seminary. This blog is to help me work through the daily, but mainly, it's to help me remember precious little moments that I never want to forget and cherish forever!
What you said is so true. God makes a place in your heart just as big as it is for Parker. You will still love him with all your heart and when your eyes gaze on him they will be full of him only. Then as if a miracle, the other will be the only child you see as you gaze on him. It is really amazing how God does it. You will have plenty of room to love both of them 100% with your whole heart. Really.
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