Sobbing turned to joy...

"They accepted your offer!!" was the text I received Monday at 2pm.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I put my face in my hands and sobbed.  I looked around at our house, "this is it...this home...all these blissful years...we are moving".  My eyes were puffy all day as at the drop of a hat, tears would flow.  I texted my prayer warriers, and of course my parents.  I couldn't talk to my mom when she texted back "do you want to talk about it?".  I couldn't even read the text without crying.  My parents...the thought of moving away from them, it's soooo hard.  It's not like I see them every day, but I'm still their little girl...I didn't realize leaving them would hit me the way it did...I just love them so much.  Tears are rolling down my face now, just typing about it!  ha!  Anyways- I have been so somber the past two days- focusing more on my sacrifice that the incredible GIFT that God is giving us for the opportunity to serve HIM!!!  God has just blessed me so much recently through people sending me passages to read in His word...when I do...He always tells me something...it has been such a huge blessing.  Well, today I got several passages from a dear friend and one of them was Deuteronomy 28.  The first part talks about the massive BLESSING you receive from obedience.  It's MASSIVE...He will BLESS BLESS BLESS!  Well, I was getting all pumped, because here we are making this HUGE step of obedience...ok Lord....I'm ready for my blessing!!  Then, I went over to the part of the passage about what happens when you are disobedient.  As I am reading through it, I was SO GLAD I was living in obedience...it's scary to be on the disobedience side!  Well, then it hit me like a ton of bricks....the part of the passage that says, "They shall be a sign and a wonder against you and your offspring forever.  Because you did not serve the LORD your God with joyfullness and gladness of heart, because of the abundance of all things," (Deut. 28:46-47)  Whoa...God, I am walking around moping, crying, saying "poor me"...that's not joyfullness and GLADNESS OF HEART!!!  I realized obedience is a matter of the heart....and my heart was not in obedience!  Ouch!  Forgive me Father...my Abba Father, forgive me.  My heart was not joyfully serving you with gladness.  I must move forward, praising Him, thanking HIM for the BEAUTIFUL blessings He gives me every-single-day...and most importantly THANK him for the BLESSING of serving HIM!