Ugh...

Well, I just laid in bed with Parker while he fell asleep for the last time in this house in his room.  I looked around his room and so many memories flooded my mind.  Blake and I painting his room, bringing him home to his room...rocking him as a baby in there.  I feel like I am barely holding it together by the grace of God.  I prayed today, that God would take all attachment to this home from me.  That he would help me see it as a building that housed us, and not our home laden with memories.  I do feel a lot better, however, I am SO ready for the closing day to be over.  I am ready to not have to anticipate the "lasts" of everything in this house.  This is the "last time" I will cook dinner here, or the "last time" we will play in the back yard...ugh...the sadness with all of the "lasts" I am ready to be done with.  I just feel like I want to cry all of the time when I think about walking out of this home for the last time.  Lord, this is good, this is good that you are stripping me of these attachments to worldy things.  This is good that I cannot hold on to things in this world...because all we need is YOU, Lord.   Father, God, Abba Father....hold me up.